Kuroko no Basuke Vol. 30 Drama CD
“Bokutachi no Baito no Hanashi Desu” /
“This Is the Story of Our Part-Time Jobs”
Cast: Kuroko, Kagami, Kiyoshi, Hyuuga, Izuki, Koganei,
Kise, Kasamatsu, Moriyama, Midorima, Takao,
Akashi, Mibuchi, Hayama, and Nebuya
Midorima: Plus, if you act now, I’ll throw in Takao for free.
[in a family restaurant]
Kagami: Kuroko…I quit being your partner.
Kagami: Right now, you’re just holding me back.
Kiyoshi: Yeah. It’s a shame, but at the rate things are going, we don’t have much of a choice.
Kuroko: Kiyoshi-senpai…! … I understand. I guess I’m not cut out to be Kagami-kun’s partner after all.
Koganei: What?! H-hold on a sec! What’s that supposed to mean?
Kiyoshi: Oh, Koga! Perfect timing. Can I get a refill on my water—
Koganei: [rushes over to their table] Forget about that! What were you talking about just now? What on earth happened?
Kiyoshi: What do you mean?
Koganei: They said something about not being able to be partners anymore!
Kagami: Oh, see, we were talking about how Kuroko and I are going to stop handing out flyers together.
Kuroko: In other words, we’re discussing our part-time job.
Kagami: Shuueisha CD Drama: Kuroko no Basuke
Kuroko: “This Is the Story of Our Part-Time Jobs”
Koganei: So you were talking about your job? Geez, don’t scare me like that. Hey, Kagami, could you hand me that empty plate?
Koganei: Thanks. So? Why can’t you hand out flyers together?
Kagami: Kuroko and I were working as a pair—I’d hand out the balloons, and he’d hand out the flyers, but…well…
Kuroko: No one notices me when they walk by, so we can’t make any progress with the flyers.
Koganei: Oh, that makes sense. But didn’t Coach choose jobs she thought would be a good fit for us? Did yours not work out that way?
Kiyoshi: No, it did. Our job is to hand out flyers, but Riko managed to find a job where we’d be handing out flyers in costume, so that even Kuroko would stand out.
Koganei: In costume, huh?
Kuroko: Yes. Mine is a pink rabbit.
Kiyoshi: By the way, mine is a turtle, and Kagami’s is a tiger. They’re really cute!
Koganei: I’m pretty sure a turtle pushing two meters would be more scary than cute. But they still don’t notice you, even in the costume? That’s incredible, Kuroko.
Kuroko: It’s a real problem. The way things are going, we won’t be able to meet our quota for the day.
Koganei: Yeah, that’s not good. We’ve all got to work hard to raise enough money to meet our goal. Oh, crap. I’ve gotta get back to work. They’ll get mad if one of the floor staff is spending all his time at the same table. Oh, Kiyoshi, if you’re finished with that plate, could you pass it to me? I’ll get it out of your way.
Kiyoshi: Sure thing. Good luck!
Koganei: Same to you guys! [heads to another table] Sir, if you’re finished with your plate, I can clear it for you. Oh, let me bring you another glass of water. Just a moment.
Kuroko: Koganei-senpai’s amazing, isn’t he? He’s still waiting on all of his tables, even while carrying that huge stack of plates…
Kiyoshi: Looks like this job as a waiter at a family restaurant is a perfect fit for him.
Kagami: We’ve got to do our best, too! Alright! Guess I’ll eat a little more!
Kuroko: What? You’re still hungry?
Kagami: Yeah! Being in that costume burns a lot more stamina than I expected. I worked up a huge appetite! Let’s see…what should I order?
Kiyoshi: Kuroko, make sure you drink plenty of water, at least. We’re going to be out in the sun again all afternoon, so we can’t have you getting dehydrated.
Kuroko: Understood. Summer vacation may be over, but it’s still hot outside.
Kise: It’s so hot… Huh? Kasamatsu-senpai, you don’t look so good.
Moriyama: No kidding. What’s wrong, Kasamatsu? It’s not heatstroke, is it?
Kasamatsu: Nope. It’s all your fault, Moriyama.
Moriyama: Did I do something?
Kasamatsu: You sure as hell did. Today’s supposed to be our day off, but you forced me to tag along for this good-for-nothing game of yours.
Moriyama: “Good-for-nothing game”? I take offense at that. Picking up girls isn’t a game—it’s culture!
Kise: May I remind you that there’s someone who suffered a crushing emotional blow on account of this so-called “culture”?
Kise: He finally worked up the courage to go chat up some girls, but they just laughed at him… That’s gotta hurt.
Moriyama: But why did those girls laugh at him, anyway? Kobori’s tall, and he definitely looks like a kind, genuine person. What’s there to laugh at?
Kise: That pickup line was downright awful! I can’t believe he actually said, “Miss, would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me?” Nobody uses that line anymore, even on TV! And to top it off, he was so nervous that his voice cracked… Poor Kobori-senpai… I hope he can bounce back from this.
Kasamatsu: He was reeling from the shock and embarrassment afterward, but Hayakawa was going to try to help him get home.
Moriyama: Hayakawa didn’t have any success, either. No surprise there, really.
Kise: He shouted, “Leave the (re)bound to me!” at the girls who turned down Kobori-senpai. I think he scared them half to death!
Kasamatsu: He’s a good guy, but he’s an idiot. And he’s still not pronouncing his r’s.
Moriyama: Anyway, I never expected you to freeze up like that when your turn came around, Kasamatsu.
Kasamatsu: Th-there’s no way I can do something like that! Besides, when it comes to girls, I—
Moriyama: I know. You have trouble dealing with them, right? After all, when you talk to a girl, your entire vocabulary shrinks to the words “yeah” and “no”.
Kise: Are you serious?! How have you managed to make it through life like that?
Moriyama: It’s partly because the girls in his class take pity on him and only ask him yes-or-no questions.
Kise: Kasamatsu-senpai, that’s a little extreme…
Kasamatsu: I-I can’t help it!
Moriyama: Be that as it may, you can’t go on like this forever. Why don’t you follow my example and try being a little more assertive?
Kise: Moriyama-senpai, you’re the last person who should be setting an example for him.
Moriyama: Why is that?
Kise: Because your attempt to pick up a girl was a complete and total disaster!
Moriyama: I’m not sure what happened… We hit it off really well at first… How did I screw it up?
Kise: No matter how interested a girl seems, blindsiding her with a line like “You and I were destined to meet. To part ways here would be to defy fate itself. Now, let us walk the path of destiny together!” is a surefire way to freak her out!
Moriyama: But I heard that girls like talking about fate and destiny… The female mind is a mystery indeed…
Kasamatsu: Men and women were never meant to understand each other in the first place.
Kise: Kasamatsu-senpai, I think you should put a little more effort into finding a happy medium.
Kasamatsu: Shut it, you! [kicks Kise]
Moriyama: As I suspected, it seems that picking up girls is still a little too advanced for us.
Kise: A “little advanced”? No, I think you need to consider starting over from scratch…
Moriyama: We should’ve given ourselves time to test the waters instead of jumping straight into the deep end. Ergo…let’s host a mixer!
Moriyama: We’re running into problems precisely because we’re trying to pick the right girl out of a sea of people. Don’t you think we’d have a better chance of making a connection with girls who are already interested in meeting us?
Kise: Um…well…I guess it’s a step up from hitting on random strangers…
Moriyama: Alright, Kise, I’m counting on you to make the arrangements.
Kise: Why me?!
Moriyama: Because you’re the one who spends the most time chatting up the ladies!
Kise: Please don’t make me sound like some kind of playboy!
Moriyama: Hahahaha! No need to be modest! Our fate rests on your shoulders! Right, Kasamatsu?
Kasamatsu: Me?! What does this have to do with me?
Moriyama: I told you! You’d do well to be a little more assertive. At this rate, you’ll die without ever having met half of the human race!
Kasamatsu: That’s the overstatement of the year!
Moriyama: No, it’s the cold, hard truth. But don’t worry! This time, we’ll get plenty of practice under our belts before we attempt the real deal.
Moriyama: Practice for the mixer! Practice is the foundation of success. Just like my shooting technique is the result of countless hours of practice. Am I right?
Kise: Please don’t compare basketball to a mixer…
Moriyama: Victory awaits on the horizon, so let’s get practicing!
Kise: What “victory” would that be?! Well, I guess we might as well. Both of you could definitely do with some practice.
Moriyama: Then it’s settled. Let’s go, Kasamatsu! It’s time for a strategy meeting! [grabs Kasamatsu]
Kasamatsu: Moriyama! Get your hand off my neck! Let go! I’m going home, you hear me—?!
[Kasamatsu, Kise, and Moriyama enter the family restaurant]
Koganei: Welco…me? Whoa, Kise? And you’ve got Kasamatsu-san and Moriyama-san with you.
Kise: Huh? Oh, it’s Koganei-san from Seirin! What are you doing here?
Koganei: I’m working a part-time job. A table for three? Right this way, please. [shows them to a table] Please have a seat.
Kise: Thank you. Huh?
Kise: Kurokocchi! You’re the last person I expected to run into.
Kuroko: I’m as surprised as you are. I see Kasamatsu-san and Moriyama-san are with you.
Kasamatsu: Hm? Is it just the three of you?
Kiyoshi: Yes. We’re working a part-time job together today.
Kasamatsu: Why are you doing something like that? Don’t you have practice?
Kiyoshi: We’ve got a few things going on…
Koganei: I brought some water for you. Please ring the bell to let me know when you’re ready to order. [leaves]
Kise: Oh, I know! If you don’t mind, do you think you could help us with something?
Kuroko: What do you mean?
Kise: I want to help my senpai improve their communication skills, but I could definitely use some backup.
Kagami: Their communication skills? What for?
Kise: Well, we’ve been dealing with a few problems of our own… So, how about it? Would you be willing to give us a hand?
Kuroko: I’m not sure what to say…
Kiyoshi: Well, I don’t see why not. What are friends for?
Kise: Really? Thank you so much!
Kiyoshi: So, what do you need us to do?
Kise: For the moment, I need you to act like girls.
Kiyoshi: Come again?
Kise: Listen up, Kasamatsu-senpai, Moriyama-senpai—from now on, I want you to treat Kurokocchi and the others as if they were girls. We’ll start with the basics!
Kasamatsu: What?! What kind of nonsense is that?!
Kagami: Hey! Why do we have to be girls?!
Kise: This is the only way! My senpai are nowhere near ready for real girls!
Kuroko: I fail to see why this is the only way…
Moriyama: I get it. So we’re basically doing a practice run. This is the ideal way to prep for a mixer! Kise, you put a lot of thought into this!
Kise: You can count on me!
Kuroko: Practice for a mixer?
Kiyoshi: Kise, you sure come up with some crazy ideas!
Kagami: This isn’t funny! Why do we have to pretend to be girls?! Besides, we’ve got our job to worry about!
Kiyoshi: Ah, you’re right! And our lunch break is almost over. We’d better get going.
Kise: What? Then who’s going to help us practice?
Kiyoshi: Ah… What to do…?
[Hyuuga and Izuki enter the restaurant]
Koganei: Welcome! Why, if it isn’t Hyuuga and Izuki!
Izuki: Hey, Koga! Working hard, I see.
Hyuuga: I’m starving…! Hauling boxes around sure takes a lot outta you.
Kiyoshi: Oh, perfect timing! Hey, Hyuuga! Izuki!
Hyuuga: Kiyoshi? Oh, so you guys are on your break, too? Wait—huh?
Izuki: They’re with Kise, Kasamatsu-san, and Moriyama-san… What are you all doing here?
Moriyama: We happened to run into each other.
Kasamatsu: Why’re you wearing coveralls?
Hyuuga: Oh, we’re working for a moving company today.
Kise: Another job? Is the whole team working?
Kuroko: We have our reasons.
Kiyoshi: Hyuuga, Izuki, you guys have perfect timing. We’re passing the baton to you!
Kuroko: I’m sorry, but we have to leave the rest up to you. Kagami-kun, let’s go.
Kagami: O-okay! Please excuse us, then.
[Kiyoshi, Kagami, and Kuroko get up to leave]
Hyuuga: H-hey, wait!
Kiyoshi: Thanks for covering for us!
Izuki: Work hard, you guys!
Kagami: Yes, sir!
Kuroko: Good luck to both of you, as well!
[Kiyoshi, Kagami, and Kuroko hurry out of the restaurant]
Moriyama: I see; so you’re going to help us in their stead. Thank you!
Izuki: Come again?
Kiyoshi: We spent a long time at the restaurant. Let’s hurry back to work.
Kuroko: Right. But…do you think Captain and Izuki-senpai will be alright?
Kiyoshi: Huh? Are they in some kind of trouble?
Kagami: You’re the one who roped them into it! …um, sir!
Kiyoshi: I did? I don’t quite get it, but whatever happens, I’m sure Hyuuga and Izuki will be able to handle it!
Kagami: How do you figure that?!
Kiyoshi: Just a feeling. Besides, they’ve got him there, too.
Kagami: “Him” who?
Koganei: [in a high voice] Um, Moriyama-kun, where should we go on our first date? An amusement park, maybe?
Moriyama: Going to an amusement park is so cliché. Let’s go to your house instead.
Kise: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop right there! Why would you suggest going to her house on the first date?! You should just agree with her suggestion and go to the amusement park!
Moriyama: Really? I heard that it’s best to stay close to home for the first date…
Kise: That’s not close to home—that’s literally at home! And you’re going to wind up driving her away instead!
Moriyama: I had no idea…
Koganei: Um…I just came to take your orders…
Hyuuga: You’re amazing, Koga. They asked you to pretend to be a girl, and you didn’t even miss a beat!
Izuki: Yeah, we were totally at a loss. We can always count on you, Koga!
Koga: You think so? Are you sure it was realistic enough?
Kise: Actually, your acting was fantastic! If anything, I feel like apologizing for the fact that it was wasted on such a disappointing response…
Koganei: No worries. That’s what practice is for! Now, may I take your orders?
Kise: The three of us will have the drink bar.
Izuki: I’ll have the Japanese set meal. What about you, Hyuuga?
Hyuuga: I’ll have the daily special.
Koganei: [punching in the order] So that’s three for the drink bar, one Japanese set meal, and one daily special, correct? I’ll be back with your food in a few minutes. [leaves]
Moriyama: Alright, one more time! I’ve got this!
Kise: Make sure you start by having a proper conversation, okay? And remember that it’s all about give and take—you have to meet your partner halfway.
Moriyama: Got it.
Kise: Izuki-san, if you would be so kind.
Kise: Take it away, Moriyama-senpai!
Moriyama: Er…ahem. Izuki-san, do you have any hobbies?
Izuki: Let me see… Well, I dabble in making puns.
Moriyama: Wow, what a coincidence! I’m a bit of a punster myself!
Izuki: Really? In that case…my Eagle Eye is my eye in the sky!
Moriyama: … [awkward laugh] That’s hilarious… Well, it seems like the two of us have a lot in common!
Kise: Hold it right there—!
Moriyama: What’s the big idea, Kise? We were just getting to the good part!
Kise: You can’t be serious! I know I said you should meet your partner halfway, but that doesn’t mean you can lie to her!
Moriyama: I-I wasn’t lying!
Hyuuga: That hollow laugh was a dead giveaway.
Izuki: If I were a girl, I’d be pretty upset.
Izuki: You should wait to decide if the two of you click or not until after you’ve had more time to talk.
Kise: This has been bugging me for a while now, but you don’t have a girlfriend, do you, Izuki-san?
Izuki: No, I don’t. What of it?
Kise: It seems like you would be popular!
Hyuuga: Oh, he’s popular, alright!
Hyuuga: There’s no reason to hide it, is there? You’re the most popular guy on the team!
Moriyama: I see how it is… Izuki Shun, I hereby declare you my rival in matters of the heart!
Izuki: Huh?! Where did that come from?! I just get people asking me out every once in a while. Does that really count as being popular?
Kasamatsu: “Once in a while”?! That sounds plenty amazing to me…
Hyuuga: You should see the way he gives ‘em the cold shoulder, though. Somebody’s standing right there, pouring out their feelings to him, and he’s got his nose stuck in a joke book!
Izuki: It’s not my fault new jokes pop into my head when I get nervous! And then I get distracted trying to jot them down…
Kise: So the girls give up and leave because they can’t make heads or tails of that.
Moriyama: Izuki Shun, you’re an unexpected waste of a pretty face.
Kasamatsu: That’s what they call the pot calling the kettle black.
Izuki: That’s enough about me! C’mon, you’re up next, Hyuuga! Do us proud!
Hyuuga: W-why me? I can’t do it!
Izuki: If I can do it, so can you!
Hyuuga: It’s not that easy! I get super nervous when I talk to girls!
Kasamatsu: Hyuuga…! You, too…?
Kise: Don’t get your hopes up. After all, Hyuuga-san has no problem talking to Seirin’s coach, who happens to be a girl.
Kasamatsu: [crushed] …Hyuuga…you, too…?
Hyuuga: Please don’t look at me like I just stabbed you in the back! Coach and I have known each other a long time, so it’s different with her!
Moriyama: Just how long are we talking?
Hyuuga: C-Coach and I…and Izuki, too—we went to the same middle school. So it’s more like we’re just stuck with each other, y’know, and—
Moriyama: “Stuck”…with a girl…? Hyuuga Junpei, I hereby declare you my secondary rival in matters of the heart!
Hyuuga: “Secondary rival”?! No, like I said—I don’t even really think of her as a girl—!
Izuki: But that doesn’t stop you from acting like a gentleman around her, does it? Like when practice runs late, you and Kiyoshi walk her home.
Hyuuga: That’s only natural! But Kiyoshi is always there, too! It’s always the three of us. The three. Of. Us.
Kise: Um, I think it’s high time we changed the subject! This is getting kind of awkward…
Hyuuga: Why the hell does it have to be awkward?! We’re not like that! It’s totally not like that, you hear me?
Kise: Okay, okay, I get it. Right now, the important thing is that you can talk to your coach. So now I want you to pretend to be her!
Hyuuga: Pretend to be Riko…?
Moriyama: Alright, that means Kasamatsu’s up next for our side. Break a leg!
Moriyama: Bingo. Your partner is Hyuuga, but he’s a girl. He’s a girl, but he’s Hyuuga. Ready…go!
Kasamatsu: I can’t! You’re making it even more confusing! Besides…what am I supposed to talk about, anyway?
Moriyama: Ask about her hobbies, like I did.
Izuki: I had the same thought earlier, but that question reminded me of something you’d ask at a formal marriage interview.
Kasamatsu: A m-marriage interview?!
Kise: That shouldn’t make you more nervous!
Koganei: Sorry for the wait! I have one Japanese set meal and one daily special. [serves their food] How goes it? Making any progress?
Izuki: I think so.
Koganei: You know, if you want to keep a conversation with a girl rolling, it’s important to know how to choose good conversation topics.
Moriyama: I suspected as much… But how are we supposed to know what to talk about?
Koganei: Don’t overthink it! If you’ve got something in common, you can talk about that, but even if you don’t, you can talk about something you’re interested in, and so long as she’s interested, too, it’ll all work out. Now, please enjoy your meal! [leaves]
Moriyama: I see… That’s some good advice.
Kise: Kasamatsu-senpai, can you think of an interesting topic?
Kasamatsu: Not when you put me on the spot like that!
Kise: It can be anything! You know, like something you’ve been really into lately.
Kasamatsu: Something I’m into?
Izuki: Hyuuga, I guess you can use whatever you and Coach usually talk about, right?
Hyuuga: Huh…? With Coach…? Um… What do we usually talk about, anyway…?
Kasamatsu: Something I like… Something I… I know!
Hyuuga: I’ve got it!
Hyuuga and Kasamatsu: Basketball!
[on the side of the road]
Takao: [stops pedaling the bike] Argh, that’s it! I can’t go any farther!
Midorima: [sighs] Very well. Takao, get off the bicycle. I’ll make a special exception for today and take a turn pulling the trailer.
Takao: Do you have to say it with that condescending attitude? Besides, it’s your fault the trailer is so heavy in the first place! Just look at this freaking mountain of red stuff we’re hauling around!
Midorima: Ten items of stationery, twelve articles of clothing, five types of food, twelve household goods, five different knickknacks, six toys—that’s fifty in all! We collected so many items, but not a one of them seems to be my lucky item…
Takao: Seriously, how did you and everybody you know just happen to miss the lucky item announcement on “Oha Asa” this morning?!
Midorima: I was giving the program my undivided attention! But due to an unexpected incident…all I heard was that my lucky item is something red.
Takao: I didn’t see this morning’s episode, either… And neither did our senpai. But even so…when you don’t have your lucky item, you’re a read handful, Shin-chan…
Takao: While we were running outside during morning practice, you got drenched by an old lady watering her garden, fell into a manhole, and almost got dragged away by a car…! What, are they having a blowout sale on bad luck or something?!
Midorima: How should I know?
Takao: Even our senpai lent you a bunch of different stuff… But I wasn’t expecting that red scarf from Ootsubo-san. He said he knitted it himself!
Midorima: It was rather well made.
Takao: He said he made it in home ec class, but when I picture him knitting away with those giant hands of his…it just cracks me up…! [laughing]
Midorima: Laugh all you want, but we’re going to have to knit in class sooner or later.
Takao: Oh, you’re right! Wait, so that means you’re gonna have to knit, too, Shin-chan?! Man, I can’t even imagine it!
Midorima: Hmph. I always do everything in my power to succeed. Unfortunately, I soon discovered that the captain’s red scarf wasn’t my lucky item. I put it on, only to get tangled up in it and nearly die.
Takao: You put it on? Even though it’s hot as blazes outside?
Midorima: What of it?
Takao: N-nope, never mind! Oh, Miyaji-san gave you a red t-shirt, right?
Midorima: Yes. This one.
Takao: What? You’re wearing it?! Whoa, now there’s something you don’t see every day! That’s Miyaji-san’s oshimen t-shirt, isn’t it? (1)
Midorima: Yes. Apparently it’s very dear to him, so he told me to take good care of it.
Takao: So you actually put it on? Wow, you sure are dedicated.
Midorima: While we’re on the subject, there’s something I’ve been wondering about for a while now. Why do they call it “oshimen”, if it’s in relation to an idol?
Midorima: If the idol is female, wouldn’t “oshiwoman” be more appropriate? Or even “oshilady”?
Takao: Nah, the “men” means something totally different in this context.
Midorima: I tried asking Miyaji-san the same question, but for some reason, he looked at me like I had two heads, then walked away without saying a word.
Takao: He must’ve realized that it’d be futile to even try to bridge the gap between the two of you. Oh, that reminds me—Kimura-senpai gave you some food, right?
Midorima: Yes. He gave me fresh tomatoes, bell peppers, apples, and strawberries. Apparently his father was out on a delivery and went out of his way to drop them off at school.
Takao: Why don’t we eat some to lighten our load?
Midorima: No, we can’t. Now that I’ve accepted them, consuming them would be rude to Kimura-san.
Takao: Yeah, but isn’t it best to eat food while it’s fresh? Here, like these strawberries. They look so juicy, and their sweet aroma is just wafting through the air!
Midorima: But we don’t have any condensed milk.
Midorima: You can’t eat strawberries without condensed milk.
Takao: Ah… So now we can’t even eat strawberries without following a set of rules. But, c’mon, if we don’t ditch some of this stuff, I don’t think we’ll be able to fit anything else in the trailer! What’re we gonna do if we find your real lucky item?
Midorima: I’ll simply have to carry it. Even the items that didn’t turn out to be my lucky item deserve to be treated with the utmost care.
Takao: Oh, is that so? … You know, all things considered, our senpai have really been looking out for you today, Shin-chan.
Midorima: Mn… [in a small voice] Not particularly.
Takao: No need to be embarrassed!
Midorima: I am not embarrassed!
Takao: Yeah, yeah. Wait, that’s right! I’ve got something red with me, too!
Midorima: What?! And you only just remembered?
Takao: Sorry, I completely forgot about it! Let’s see…I’m pretty sure I put it in my bag… Oh, here it is! A headband!
Takao: My little sis gave it to me! It’s red, see?
Midorima: I don’t need it.
Takao: And why’s that?
Midorima: I could never wear something so feminine.
Takao: It’s not “feminine”! I use it sometimes, and it’s actually pretty handy!
Midorima: I refuse.
Takao: You never know—this could be your lucky item!
Takao: C’mon, just put it on! [forces the headband on Midorima]
Takao: Ooh, it looks great on you! [snaps a picture] There we go!
Midorima: Wha—? Why did you take a picture?!
Takao: Just a little memento. Anyway, that headband may end up saving your life—
[a vehicle drives by, splashing them both with water]
Takao: Shin-chan…that’s not your lucky item.
Midorima: I realize that.
Takao: [sighs] Come on, shouldn’t you head home for the day? Your life is in danger!
Midorima: Where I am will make no difference. I am not going home until I find my lucky item.
Takao: Whaaat? You sure you wanna risk it? Oh!
Midorima: What is it, Takao?
Takao: Look, over there! There’s somebody in a tiger costume handing out balloons!
Midorima: What? Oh, it looks like that drugstore is celebrating its reopening.
Takao: No, that’s not what I mean! Look at the balloons the tiger’s holding. He’s got a red one!
Midorima: What?! Sure enough… Takao, let’s go!
Takao: You got it!
[outside a drugstore]
Kiyoshi: [surrounded by small children] Here, please take a flyer. Okay, you have to wait your turn. Oh, please don’t push Mr. Turtle.
Kuroko: Mr. Turtle, Mr. Turtle! We have a problem!
Kiyoshi: What’s the matter, Kuroko—I mean, Mr. Rabbit? Are you having trouble getting people to take your flyers again?
Kuroko: No, we have another problem. Mr. Tiger has been waylaid by Midorima-kun.
Kiyoshi: Huh? Midorima?
Midorima: …which is why I need you to relinquish one of those red balloons.
Kagami: [shakes his head]
Midorima: Why are you shaking your head? Tell me why.
Kagami: [shakes his head]
Midorima: I demand an explanation!
Takao: Shin-chan, you’re scaring him! Why’re you threatening such an adorable tiger? I’m sorry, Mr. Tiger.
Midorima: I am not threatening him. All I did was ask for a balloon.
Kagami: [takes off running] …!
Midorima: ?! He’s making a run for it!
Kagami: (What the hell is Midorima doing here?! The last thing I want is for him to find out I’m the one wearing this tiger costume!)
Midorima: [running] You there, Tiger! Why are you running away?!
Kagami: (He’s chasing me!)
Takao: [laughing] Oh, man! This is hilarious! The tiger and Shin-chan are playing tag! Hey, that tiger’s got some moves. He’s actually managing to stay ahead of Shin-chan—what, is there actually a wild tiger in there or something?
Kiyoshi: Why is Kagami running away from Midorima like his life depends on it?
Kuroko: He probably doesn’t want Midorima-kun to know that he’s the one wearing the animal costume.
Kiyoshi: But his face is hidden by the costume, so Midorima couldn’t possibly know it’s him.
Kuroko: I think he panicked and forgot all about that…
Kiyoshi: This is bad.
Kiyoshi: He can’t hand out balloons like this.
Kuroko: This is going to interfere with our work.
Kiyoshi: They’re scaring away all the children who wanted balloons.
Kuroko: We need to do something about this.
Midorima: [running] That’s…far enough! [grabs Kagami]
Kagami: (He caught me—!)
Kuroko: Midorima-kun! Please let go of Mr. Tiger!
Midorima: What is it, Rabbit? This has nothing to do with—how do you know my name?
Kuroko: It’s me, Midorima-kun.
Midorima: Wha—?! Kuroko?! What on earth are you doing?
Kuroko: We’re working part-time for the drugstore, handing out flyers.
Takao: You’re kidding! That’s you inside the rabbit costume, Kuroko?
Kuroko: Hello, Takao-kun.
Kiyoshi: Don’t forget about me!
Kuroko: Kiyoshi-senpai is here, too.
Takao: W-whoa—! That thing is huge! What kind of costume is that supposed to be?
Kiyoshi: I’m Mr. Turtle!
Takao: A turtle? Aren’t you a little big for a turtle? And why’re you guys working a part-time job dressed like that?
Kuroko: It’s a long story.
Midorima: Kuroko, and the Iron Heart…does that mean this tiger is Kagami?
Kagami: (He figured it out!)
Kuroko: No, the one in the tiger costume is Mitobe-senpai.
Kuroko: The ever-silent Mitobe-senpai. Now, Midorima-kun, please let go of Mitobe-senpai’s arm.
Kagami: (He finally let go…!)
Midorima: But why did you run away from me? All I did was ask for a balloon.
Kuroko: Unfortunately, Midorima-kun, these balloons are for the children. Since you’re a grown-up, we can’t give one to you.
Takao: Wait, so that’s what this is about? But…are you sure you can’t make an exception? Shin-chan’s life is on the line here!
Kuroko: His life…?
Midorima: What if I offer you something in exchange? I can help you pass out flyers.
Midorima: By all appearances, you haven’t made much progress handing out your flyers, have you, Kuroko?
Kuroko: Erk! …that’s kind of a sore subject.
Midorima: It’s plain to see, based on the size of the stack of flyers you’re holding. What do you say? I’ll help you hand out your flyers. Won’t you be in trouble if you can’t meet your quota?
Kiyoshi: Wow…he’s sharp.
Kagami: (Are you kidding me? Why do we have to get stuck with Midorima and Takao?) [shakes his head]
Takao: Um, Mr. Tiger is shaking his head like crazy.
Midorima: He must agree with me.
Kagami: (Where did you get that idea?!)
Midorima: Kuroko, I’d really appreciate it. Plus, if you act now, I’ll throw in Takao for free.
Takao: Huh? Why me?
Midorima: Handing out flyers should be a cakewalk for you if you use your Hawk Eye.
Takao: That’s not what it’s for!
Kuroko: But…do you think this is okay?
Kiyoshi: Why not? I’ll explain everything to the manager later.
Kuroko: Alright… In that case, Midorima-kun, you have a deal.
Kagami: (How the hell did this happen—?!)
Midorima: [to passersby] This drugstore is celebrating its reopening! Please take a flyer. Yes, here you are. Here you are. Here you are. Here you are.
Kagami: (Midorima’s a natural at this! I don’t get it…! Who’d want to take a flyer from such an unfriendly looking guy?)
Midorima: [handing out flyers] Please take one. Here you are. Here you are. Please take one. Please take one.
Kagami: (And how did we get paired up?!)
Midorima: What is it? You want a balloon? Then line up over here. You have to wait your turn. You, over there! Stay in line. If you get out of line, you’ll have to wait longer to get a balloon!
Kagami: (Damn…! I hate to admit it, but since he made all the kids form a line, it’s a lot easier for me to pass out the balloons now. Dammit! I don’t want to admit it—!)
Midorima: You there, Tiger.
Midorima: Why are you looking around? You’re the only tiger here. I’ve run out of flyers, so I’m going to get some more. I’ll bring some extra balloons for you while I’m at it.
[Kagami starts following Midorima into the store]
Midorima: Tiger? Why are you following me?
Kagami: (‘Cause I’m not gonna let you handle this all by yourself.)
Midorima: Heh. What a peculiar tiger. Oh, there’s a step there. Be careful.
Kagami: (Oh! —ugh, shit! Don’t expect me to be grateful or anything!)
Kuroko: Midorima-kun is passing out flyers like it’s second nature to him. I’m honestly a little surprised.
Takao: Shin-chan may not be the most sociable guy around, but he sure is dedicated. People can’t help but want to take flyers from him! [to passersby] Oh, please take a flyer! Yeah, here’s another one from me!
Kuroko: Your friendly attitude seems to be drawing people in, too, Takao-kun.
Kiyoshi: That’s a good point… Maybe we should start emphasizing the cute factor of these costumes in order to get people’s attention. Anyway, is Midorima really that unlucky when he doesn’t have his lucky item?
Takao: Yeah, like you wouldn’t believe. It’s so bad that it’s weird if he isn’t tripping over something or getting splashed with water.
Kuroko: It’s a good thing he found his lucky item.
Takao: Nah, it’s too soon to tell. We still don’t know for sure that red balloon is his lucky item.
Kuroko: Huh? The red balloon…?
Takao: But it looks like his bad luck’s stopped for the time being, so it’s definitely a possibility. [to passersby] Oh, I have a flyer just for you, ma’am! And you, too, miss! Please take one!
Kuroko: If I’m not mistaken, today’s lucky item for Cancers is…
Takao: Ah! Kuroko, look! There’s a group of elementary school kids coming this way. If Mr. Rabbit does his best to stand out, I’m sure they’ll take some flyers!
Kuroko: Oh. Right!
Kiyoshi: Mr. Rabbit, act cute! Remember to act cute!
Kuroko: Yes! I mean…yup!
[a strong breeze whips ups, blowing away some of the flyers]
[the signboard above the store starts creaking]
Kiyoshi: Wait, that’s the—! This is bad! Get out of there, Kagami!
Midorima: Tiger, hold on tight to the balloons—
Kagami: Look out, Midorima!
[Kagami jumps in front of Midorima, pushing him out of the way of the falling sign]
Midorima: [grunting] What on earth…? The sign fell?!
[Kiyoshi, Kuroko, and Takao rush toward them]
Kuroko: Are you alright, Kagami-kun?! Midorima-kun?!
Takao: Shin-chan! Are you alive?!
Midorima: Yeah. The tiger protected me…
Kagami: [grunting and wincing] Ow… Ugh, that was close…
Kiyoshi: I can’t believe you made it out in time. You’re amazing, Kagami!
Kagami: My body just sort of moved on its own… But I’m glad nobody else got caught under the sign. …huh? My head feels really light for some reason.
Kuroko: Kagami-kun…the head of your costume…got knocked off.
Kagami: Oh, so that’s why—ack! My face—! Don’t look—!
Kuroko: It’s too late to try to hide your face.
Midorima: Kagami… So it was you inside that tiger costume…!
Takao: Shin-chan! You need to thank him. He just saved your life!
Midorima: I know that! … [in a small voice] So, um…well…you have my thanks.
Kagami: Uh, no problem. (Thank goodness… He didn’t make fun of me.)
Takao: But, man, your bad luck is tryin’ to go out with one hell of a bang. If we don’t hurry up and find your lucky item, who knows what’ll happen next!
Midorima: Right. But where could it possibly be…?
Kuroko: About that—your lucky item for today is right in front of you, Midorima-kun.
Midorima: What—? Kuroko, do you mean…you know today’s lucky item for Cancers?
Midorima: Why didn’t you say that sooner?!
Kuroko: You didn’t ask.
Midorima: Urgh—! … Alright, fine. That’s enough about that. So? What is today’s lucky item?!
Kuroko: A person with red hair.
Kuroko: Your lucky item is a person with red hair.
Midorima: A person with red hair…?
Kuroko: Much like Kagami-kun.
Takao: I get it! So the bad luck stopped coming because he was standing next to Kagami!
Kiyoshi: At least until that incident just now. That was pretty unlucky.
Kuroko: This is just a hunch, but I think the lucky item wasn’t fully effective because Kagami-kun’s red hair was hidden by the costume.
Takao: That makes sense. So once the head of the costume got knocked off, he was able to save Shin-chan! Good for you, eh, Shin-chan? Your life’s not in danger anymore!
Midorima: Takao, we’re leaving.
Takao: Huh? But what about your lucky item?
Midorima: I have no intention of indebting myself to Kagami any further. I know other people with red hair.
Takao: Is that so?
Midorima: Kagami…well… I will find a way to repay you for your kindness. [walks away]
Takao: Okay, see ya later! [follows Midorima]
Kagami: Is Midorima gonna be okay?
Kuroko: Are you worried about him? If you like, I can send Midorima-kun a picture of you later.
Kagami: Please don’t.
Kiyoshi: What are we going to do now? They solved their problem, but now we’ve got a real situation on our hands.
Kagami: Huh? What do you mean?
Kiyoshi: Don’t you think this little disaster might put our jobs in jeopardy?
[in the family restaurant]
Hyuuga: Speaking of the NBA, last year’s finals were awesome, weren’t they?
Kasamatsu: Yeah! The way they were scoring back and forth right from the get-go had me on the edge of my seat!
Hyuuga: When both teams play with that kind of speed and power, it’s anybody’s game!
Kasamatsu: Did you see the first game of this year’s series?
Hyuuga: No, I didn’t get to. Wait—Kasamatsu-san, did you see it?
Kasamatsu: Yeah, we watch the games on satellite.
Hyuuga: No kidding? Wow, that must be nice.
Kise: I heard Seirin uses a weird icing method. Is that true?
Izuki: Yeah, it’s our coach’s special technique! You fill a plastic bucket up with ice and then shove your legs in! All the guys from Shuutoku were really surprised when they saw us.
Moriyama: I would be, too! But just think: ice play with a cute girl…? You can sign me up!
Kise: Moriyama-senpai, let’s not go down that road.
Koganei: A-hem! I hate to be a buzzkill, but Hyuuga, Izuki—shouldn’t you guys get going soon? What about your job?
Hyuuga: Oh no! That’s right! I totally lost track of time once we started talking about basketball!
Izuki: Sorry, but we have to get going. Excuse us!
Hyuuga: Excuse us!
[Hyuuga and Izuki rush out]
Moriyama: Good luck with work!
Kasamatsu: It’s nice to swap stories like that every once in a while.
Kise: That was so much fun! But wait, why do I get the feeling we’re forgetting something important…?
Koganei: So, did you make any progress with your conversation skills?
Kasamatsu, Kise, and Moriyama: That’s what we forgot!
Takao: [pedaling the bike] So? Where’re you gonna find this person with red hair? Are we going to meet up with them or something?
Midorima: No, going all the way to Kyoto now isn’t really an option. I’ll have to call him.
Takao: Huh? Why Kyoto? [hits the brakes] Wait, you don’t mean—
[Midorima dials a number; phone rings]
Akashi: [picks up the phone] Yes?
Midorima: Is this Akashi speaking?
Akashi: It’s unusual for you to call, Shintarou.
Midorima: I have a favor to ask.
Akashi: [on the phone with Midorima] No, I don’t mind. I was just having lunch. Very well. I’ll send it right away. Goodbye. [hangs up]
Mibuchi: Sei-chan, what’s up? By “Shintarou”, do you mean Midorima Shintarou of the Generation of Miracles?
Akashi: Right. It seems he needs a photograph of me.
Mibuchi: Whatever for?
Akashi: Apparently it’s today’s lucky item for his horoscope.
Hayama: Wait, wait, what? You’re telling me Midorima Shintarou likes horoscopes?
Akashi: Yes. Although in his case, it’s more a matter of life and death.
Akashi: Reo, could I bother you to take a picture of me with my cellphone?
Mibuchi: Why, certainly. You’re in good hands. [preparing to take the photo] Alright, get ready! One, two— [snaps the photo]
Hayama: [photobombing] PEACE—!
Mibuchi: Hey, Kotarou! Don’t jump in the frame like that! That really surprised me!
Hayama: When somebody’s taking a picture, I’ve just gotta get in on the action!
Mibuchi: Good grief. And you, don’t waltz in and strike some macho pose in the background.
Nebuya: What’s the big deal? There ain’t no better lucky charm than these muscles right here!
Mibuchi: What is that even supposed to mean? Here, Sei-chan, I’ll take another one.
Akashi: No, let me see the one you just took.
Mibuchi: Okay. [shows Akashi the photo] Here you go!
Akashi: Hm, not bad. I’ll send it to him.
Mibuchi: What? But that photo is pure chaos!
Akashi: It’s not a problem. I doubt Shintarou will mind, either.
Mibuchi: You don’t think he’ll mind…? Midorima Shintarou must have quite the personality.
Akashi: Is that the only thing that interests you about him?
Mibuchi: No, I’m dying to find out what makes him tick. As someone who plays the same position, of course. I’d love to play a game against him so I can take my time observing his skills up close.
Hayama: Same here! Same here! I can’t wait to play Kise Ryouta from the Generation of Miracles! I’ve gotta find out if he can copy my moves!
Nebuya: The Generation of Miracles is great and all, but I’m more excited about playing Kiyoshi Teppei. I can’t rest easy ‘til I settle things with him once and for all! [burps]
Mibuchi: Hey! How many times do I have to tell you?! Don’t make me listen to those nasty sounds.
Nebuya: Shut up. It’s not like I can help it.
Hayama: Man, can’t winter come any faster? I’m so psyched for the Winter Cup!
Mibuchi: There you go again. We just got back from summer break, but you’re already ready for winter?
Hayama: Of course I am! I just can’t wait!
Akashi: I’m glad to hear you’re all so motivated. I can’t have a team that’s satisfied with simply winning the Inter-High.
Nebuya: It wasn’t much of a challenge, since none of the guys from the Generation of Miracles played in the finals or semifinals. That’s why I’m looking forward to goin’ all out this winter!
Akashi: Of course. But no matter which teams we face, we will be the ones to claim the championship.
Mibuchi: I agree.
Hayama: You know it!
Mibuchi: Hey, watch it! Don’t answer him with that disgusting noise!
Akashi: Now then, that’s the end of our lunch break. Let’s get back to practice.
Hyuuga: What’s the verdict, Izuki? Did we make enough?
Izuki: [counting money] Ten…eleven…twelve… Alright! We met our goal!
Koganei: Awesome! Good job, everybody!
Kiyoshi: Whew. Raising money sure is a lot of work.
Hyuuga: But now we get to place the order!
Izuki: Yep! We can order new uniforms!
Kuroko: They said they could make one for you, too, Nigou.
Koganei: Now that we’re getting new uniforms, it finally feels real! I can’t wait!
Kagami: Let’s show everybody our new style of basketball, too!
Hyuuga: Alright, tomorrow it’s back to the training regimen from hell! Let’s finish strong! Seirin—! Fight—!
(1) Oshimen refers to a fan’s favorite member in an idol group. The term is a portmanteau of the words in the phrase oshiteru menbaa (“the member you support”). Seeing as the t-shirt is Miyaji’s, I’m willing to bet that Midorima is sporting a Miyu-Miyu t-shirt.
This drama CD was adapted from several chapters in the first two -Replace- novels:
- -Replace- “2nd Game: Kaijou High School’s Report on Youth: ~Summer Break Can’t Be Over Yet~”
- -Replace- “4th Game: Kaijou High School’s Report on Youth: ~Summer Break Still Can’t Be Over Yet~”
- -Replace II- “2nd Game: Midorima Shintarou’s Extremely Unlucky Day”
- -Replace II- “3rd Game: Part-Time Jobs Without Honor and Humanity: ~The Only Cure for Bakagami Is Death~”
Interestingly, in the novel, Seirin works part-time jobs for a day not to raise funds to buy new uniforms, but to repay the club funds they were forced to spend in order to cover the bill for an end-of-summer yakiniku party. The total bill exceeded 110,000 yen, and Izuki, as the club treasurer, informs Kagami that he was responsible for racking up about three fourths of that total.
– – –