This post will include translations of the four secret events unlocked by entering a series of codes in the game’s gallery. There is one event for each Seirin, Kaijou, Shuutoku, and Touou. They occur at each respective school after the training camp, and they’re even crackier than usual.
In today’s event:
Aomine: I’ve gotta crush my opponents and show Ryou’s mom some basketball and…wasn’t there somethin’ else?
「黒子のバスケ：キセキの試合」PSP Game – 隠しシナリオ
“Kuroko no Basuke: Kiseki no Shiai” PSP Game
演劇の代役と演技指導 / Engeki no Daiyaku to Engi Shidou / A Substitute Actor and a Crash Course in Acting
Secret Event: Seirin
[in a hallway at Seirin]
Kagami: Hey, Kuroko. What class do we have after this?
Kuroko: Weren’t you listening in class? The culture clubs are going to give performances.
Kagami: Performances? What d’ya mean?
Kuroko: As in, the wind ensemble is going to give a concert, the drama club is going to put on a play, and so on.
Kagami: Oh? That’s nice, I guess.
???: Kagami-kun! C’mere for a sec!
[Riko rushes up to them]
Riko: I know this is out of the blue, but I’ve got a little favor to ask!
Kagami: What is it? You look like you’re in a hurry.
Riko: Well, you know how the culture clubs are going to perform in a bit? Well, one of the male actors in the drama club injured himself just now.
Kagami: Injured? Do you need me to carry him to the infirmary or something?
Riko: No, that’s not it. I want you to fill in for him in the play.
Riko: His part doesn’t have many lines, so the members of the drama club think you should be able to manage somehow.
Kagami: Wait, what the hell?! That doesn’t make any sense! …I mean, I don’t understand, Coach! What d’they want me for?!
Riko: Sorry, I guess I should have started from the beginning. See, one of my best friends is the head of the drama club. So she asked me to ask you if you wouldn’t mind filling in for him, since you’re a perfect fit for the part. When your best friend asks you for a favor, there’s no way you can refuse, right?
Kagami: Turn her down! …er, please!! I don’t know the first thing about acting!
Riko: …you’re right. I guess I was asking the impossible. I’m sorry. I thought it might work out, since you wouldn’t have many lines, but…
Riko: My best friend came to me for help… I just really wanted to give her a hand. But I should have put myself in your shoes, since this is asking a lot of you. …I’ll go apologize to the drama club. Sorry again for putting you on the spot, Kagami-kun…
Kagami: ……so, how many lines are there?
Kagami: Don’t blame me if I screw up on stage, though.
Riko: T-that means…!
Kagami: Yeah, I’ll fill in for ‘im.
Riko: Kagami-kun! Thank you so much!
[Hyuuga and Koganei arrive]
Hyuuga: Hm? What’s going on over there?
Koganei: Maybe Kagami’s getting chewed out for something he did?
Kagami: Oh, it’s the captain and Koganei-senpai. I just got recruited to fill in for somebody in the drama club.
Hyuuga: What the… You mean in the drama club’s performance today? Wait, first off, can you even act?
Kagami: Well, I mean, I’ve never done it before, but they said I won’t have many lines.
Hyuuga: You’re a man among men… Alright, we’ll give you a hand! I guess we’d better start rehearsing! There’re too many people around here, so let’s take this outside!
Kagami: Got it!
[outside, on Seirin’s grounds]
Hyuuga: Alright. Let’s go ahead and start rehearsing for the play.
Kagami: That’s fine by me, but… Why is the rest of the basketball club here?
Koganei: ‘Cause this is your debut on the big stage, obviously! We can’t let you go it alone!
Izuki: We saw you guys heading outside, so we came to see what all the fuss was about.
Kiyoshi: I thought that meant we were going to play basketball at the performance today, so I even went and changed into my uniform.
Tsuchida: So? You think you’ll be alright, filling in for that other guy?
Fukuda: Yeah, it’s awesome that you agreed to do this, Kagami.
Furihata: We’re gonna cheer for you when it’s your turn on stage!
Kawahara: We’ll get the crowd amped up for you!
Kuroko: Now that I know you’ll be on stage, I’m looking forward to the drama club’s performance. I’ll be cheering for you, too, so please do your best.
Kagami: Yeah! I’ve got this!
Hyuuga: So, let’s see… The title of the play is…The Tale of the Princess and the Swordsman’s Star-Crossed Love… And it looks like Kagami’s playing the main character’s best friend. He’s only got five lines. Let me see… “I never thought I’d have to face you in battle again.” “I’ll watch your back.” “Urgh!” “Forget about me! Just go!” “Protect the princess as long as you live…guh!”
Koganei: He didn’t last long!
Hyuuga: Yeah, he’s just there to make the main character look good.
Koganei: I feel like telling him to try a little harder…
Hyuuga: Hmm…yeah, it’s kind of a letdown. And this part doesn’t really suit Kagami, since he’s the ace of the basketball team and all.
Koganei: Hey, what d’ya say we mix things up a little bit?
Hyuuga: I get it. Improvisation is what makes a pro actor, after all.
Kagami: Are you sure we should be doing that…?
Hyuuga: We’re just gonna tweak the lines a little. Shouldn’t be a problem. Okay, so, starting with the first line, let’s make it, “I have returned from the depths of hell!”
Kagami: That’s already totally different!
Koganei: Then let’s change where he says, “Urgh!” to, “That attack won’t work on me!”
Kagami: He’s not gonna kick the bucket?!
Kiyoshi: Since this is Kagami’s big debut, maybe we should do some publicity for the basketball club? Like, “Forget about me. I entrust the basketball club to you.” Sounds pretty good, don’t you think?
Kagami: No…that couldn’t be any further from the truth.
Koganei: And then the last line should be, “You’re not going to be able to marry the princess. Why, you ask? Because you’re going to die.”
Kagami: That gives away the entire plot! …wait a sec, are you guys just messing with me?
Kagami: You’re not even gonna deny it?!
[Riko rushes up to them]
Riko: Kagami-kun! It’s almost time! You need to change into your costume, so come with me!
Kagami: Aaaah! I didn’t get to rehearse at all!
Hyuuga: You’ll be fine, Kagami! We’ll be cheering for you!
Kagami: I get the feeling you’re just trying to sabotage me, though…
Kuroko: As far as we’re concerned, yours is the starring role. We’ll be watching you, so please give it your all.
Kagami: Y-yeah! Okay, here goes!
Riko: During the actual play, Kagami-kun’s delivery was a little stiff, but he was able to play his part without incident. Of course, he completely ignored the input of his idiot senpai…or so I heard afterward.
[in the gym]
Kagami: C’mon, Kuroko, let’s do some passing practice.
Kuroko: Okay, understood. ……
Kagami: Hm? What’s the matter?
Kuroko: …I keep remembering what happened earlier, but I’m doing my best not to laugh.
Kagami: W-why, you! You’re still going on about that stuff from the drama club?!
Kuroko: You gave such an invigorating performance that I just can’t help myself.
Kagami: Shut it! I know my voice was kinda high pitched at the beginning!
Kuroko: But you delivered your lines without any mistakes and played your part until the very end.
Kagami: I think our senpai trying to mess with me might’ve actually helped me focus. All the lines got beaten into my head while I was changing into my costume.
Kuroko: They booed you quite loudly for it during the performance, though.
Kagami: Like I care! I would’ve ruined the play if I’d said those lines!
Kuroko: I agree. It’s a good thing you have some common sense, Kagami-kun.
[Riko rushes into the gym]
Riko: Kagami-kun! C’mere for a sec!
Kagami: Huh? What is it?
Riko: They’ve got another opening in the drama club! And this time, it’s for the role of one of the main characters!
Hyuuga: I guess that means we’re up! You can leave rehearsing with Kagami to us!
Koganei: Acting, shmacting, whatever—we’ll teach him everything we know!
Kagami: Um, excuse me! I ain’t doin’ this anymore!!
– – –
インタビューの練習と目標 / Intabyuu no Renshuu to Mokuhyou / Interview Practice and Team Goals
Secret Event: Kaijou
[in the gym at Kaijou]
Kasamatsu: Alright, once you’ve finished these drills, move on to practicing layups. Start with a quick pass, then take your shot. Make sure not to fumble the ball.
Kobori: Hey, Kasamatsu. Doesn’t it seem kind of noisy at the back of the gym?
Kasamatsu: Hm? Yeah, I guess so… Looks like there’s a crowd forming back there.
Moriyama: Maybe it’s a group of girls trying to sneak a peek at me?
Kise: In that case, there’s a greater chance that it’s a group of my fans.
Moriyama: That’s always the case, so why can’t they be my fans, just this once?
Kise: Um…I’m pretty sure that decision isn’t ours to make…
Moriyama: Now, come to me! My army of female fans!
Hayakawa: Oh, those people ove(r) the(re)? I think they(‘re) he(re) to do an inte(r)view fo(r) a magazine.
Kasamatsu: Hmm. …wonder what magazine they’re from.
Hayakawa: Um, it’s p(rob’)ly (B)ball Monthly!
Kasamatsu: What? Seriously?! That’s news to me! I just automatically assumed they were here for one of Kise’s modeling gigs or something.
Kise: No, we don’t have anything planned for today.
Kasamatsu: Wow, this is totally out of the blue… Sheesh.
Kise: An interview, huh? I wonder what kind of questions they’re going to ask us.
Kasamatsu: Yeah, come to think of it, you’ve got to have something to talk about during an interview, right? And there’s a pretty significant possibility that it’ll be us regulars who have to do the talking.
Kobori: O-oh, crap… I got really nervous all of a sudden. Should we try practicing a few questions?
Kasamatsu: You’re right. It’s probably best to go ahead and decide what we’re going to talk about.
Kobori: Wait, weren’t you interviewed by Basketball Monthly before?
Kasamatsu: Yeah, but it was more of a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing.
Kobori: Oooh. You sound like a real seasoned interviewee. So, what was it like? Mind sharing some of your expertise?
Kasamatsu: Hmm… First, they had me give a brief self introduction… “Um, my name is Kasamatsu Yukio. I play point guard. This is my last year to play high school basketball, so I’d like to devote myself to my club activities and finish this season without any regrets.”
Kise: …that sounds a bit dull.
Kobori: Ooooh! Trust an even more seasoned interviewee to say something like that!
Kise: What you just said won’t leave any kind of impression on the people who read it.
Kobori: I see… Yeah, maybe something with a little more impact would be better?
Kasamatsu: What’s that supposed to mean…?
Kobori: For example, maybe you want the people who read the interview to think, “This guy’s one to watch out for,” or something.
Kasamatsu: “…Kaijou High School Basketball Club, President and Chairman, Kasamatsu Yukio. First-class three-point shooter.”
Kobori: …are you serious?
Kasamatsu: Shut the hell up! Let’s hear what you’ve got, then!
Kobori: Er…um… “‘Basketball and Me’, by Kobori Kouji of the Kaijou High School Basketball Club. I really love basketball.”
Kasamatsu: Why does it sound like some elementary school kid’s essay?! I was wondering where you were going with the “Basketball and Me” part!
Kobori: I-I can’t help it! I’ve never been interviewed before!
Kasamatsu: I don’t think it would make any difference if you had…
Moriyama: Let’s tailor our answers to attract a group of female paparazzi, instead!
Kasamatsu: Here we go again… I know I’m gonna regret this, but what did you have in mind?
Moriyama: “My shots can’t help but find the basket, just like I couldn’t help but fall for you.” What d’ya think?
Kasamatsu: “What do I think”?! I think you’re touched in the head!
Hayakawa: No, this is ou(r) big chance to convey ou(r) passion fo(r) basketball!
Kasamatsu: I think I feel a headache coming on, but how so?
Hayakawa: “Th(r)ee-pointers, d(r)ibbling, (re)bounds, and steals! The(re) a(re) many differ(re)nt plays in basketball; howeve(r)…among those, I believe that (re)bounds a(re) the most impo(r)tant!”
Kasamatsu: I have absolutely no idea what you’re saying… If they print your interview in the magazine, it’ll be completely indecipherable.
Kise: After you did your self introduction, what else did they ask you?
Kasamatsu: What else? Let’s see…about the position I play and what kind of practice I do, that kind of stuff. Oh, they did ask me if I had a rival.
Kise: A rival, huh…? Do all of you have rivals?
Kasamatsu: Right now, I guess I’d have to say mine is Touou’s Imayoshi. He’s so sharp and clever—it’s amazing. Well, it might also be that I’m focused on him since we lost to them at the Inter-High.
Kobori: I… I think I might be my own greatest rival…
Kasamatsu: …what the heck? How can you say that with a straight face?
Kobori: …I’m so embarrassed… Can we move on, please…?
Moriyama: My rivals are all the insolent men who have set their sights on the women of the world!
Kasamatsu: What, so you’re your own greatest rival, too?
Moriyama: …huh? No, that makes me the knight on a white horse who defends the women of the world, right?
Kasamatsu: It’s sad. You had so much potential.
Hayakawa: My (r)ival is eve(r)y othe(r) playe(r) who goes fo(r) the (re)bound!
Kasamatsu: Like I said, you’re not even capable of answering interview questions! …so? Who’s your rival, Kise?
Kise: My rival? Hmm… But I have so many of them…
Kasamatsu: Huh. I just assumed you’d say it was Aomine.
Kise: Naturally, I want revenge on Aominecchi as an opponent. But Aominecchi isn’t the only strong opponent out there. At least for now, everyone from the “Generation of Miracles” is my rival. That includes Kurokocchi, of course. And there’s one more person I can’t forget… Kagamicchi is another powerful rival! I’m definitely going to settle things with my rivals at the Winter Cup!
Kasamatsu: That’s way too many! Just how much of the interview are you planning to eat up while you blab about your rivals?!
Kise: But I can’t help it! All of them really are my rivals!
Kasamatsu: Well, they’ll probably cut all of that when they do their edits for the magazine. Anyway, at the end of the interview, they asked me what my goals were, to sort of sum everything up.
Kobori: A goal, huh…? I guess it’d have to be winning the championship at the Winter Cup.
Kasamatsu: Right? And we’ve also got to make sure we repay our debts from the Inter-High.
Moriyama: Mine would have to be meeting my fated soulmate.
Kasamatsu: You haven’t said a single word about basketball since we started!
Hayakawa: The Winte(r) Cup Championship! That’s ou(r) goal! I’m gonna t(r)y my best!
Kasamatsu: Why don’t you make it your goal to learn how to talk normally?!
Kise: My goal is to play as many games as possible with this team. And in order to do that, we need to win and keep advancing at the Winter Cup.
Kise: Because, I mean, this Winter Cup is also the last chance I have to play basketball with my senpai.
Kasamatsu: …you bastard! That earned you a punch in the shoulder! [whacks Kise]
Kise: Ouch! That really hurt?!
Kasamatsu: As the basketball team, our goal is one and the same: to play as many games as we can together, and to win the championship at the Winter Cup!
Kise: Yes! I’m going to give it my all so we can achieve that goal!
Kasamatsu: Anyway, they’re sure taking their sweet time coming to do that interview. What’re they doing over there?
Hayakawa: What? Someone’s coming to inte(r)view us today?
Kasamatsu: Huh? That’s what you just said, ain’t it?!
Hayakawa: I neve(r) said anything like that! What I said was, “It’s p(r)olly (B)ball Monthly”!
Kasamatsu: Yeah, as in, “probably Basketball Monthly”, right?
Hayakawa: No, that’s not it! I said, “(V)olleyball Monthly”!
Kasamatsu: “Prollee…ball…” Wait a sec, you mean Volleyball Monthly?!
Hayakawa: That’s what I’ve been saying this whole time!
Kasamatsu: Like hell you have!!
Hayakawa: I thought we we(re) just p(r)acticing in case they came to inte(r)view us sometime soon.
Kasamatsu: Geez… This is ridiculous…
Kobori: What were we thinking, interrupting practice for this…?
Kasamatsu: That’s for sure… That was a real waste of time.
Kise: It wasn’t a waste of time at all! We got to affirm our goals as a team. We’re going to keep winning and winning and play a ton of games together—!
Kasamatsu: That’s a real positive attitude… Alright, for the sake of clinching those wins, let’s get back to practice!
Kise: Roger that!
– – –
居残り練習と勝つための人事 / Inokori Renshuu to Katsu Tame no Jinji / Staying Late to Practice and Doing What It Takes to Win
Secret Event: Shuutoku
[in the gym at Shuutoku]
Miyaji: Whew. You looked like you were moving pretty well today, Kimura.
Kimura: I know, right? I think I’m getting the hang of it. Maybe we’re starting to see the results of the training camp?
Miyaji: The training camp, huh? …it was pretty intense, but looking back on it now, it actually turned out to be a lot of fun. ‘Cause once practice was over, we got to fill up on delicious food and kick back in the onsen!
[Takao approaches them]
Takao: Thanks for your hard work today! Are you reminiscing about the training camp?
Miyaji: Yeah. It feels like we made some real progress. …huh? Wait a sec, where’s your other half?
Takao: Oh, you mean Shin-chan? He’s still over there.
Midorima: …! [takes a shot and makes a basket]
Miyaji: Whoa… He’s still practicing?
Kimura: Man, that’s some serious dedication…
Ootsubo: I think his confidence and ability are somewhat dependent on that degree of repetition.
Miyaji: Then does that mean his excessive self-confidence is a result of the excessive amount of practice he does?
Ootsubo: Even if it is, it’s not like I can tell him not to practice.
Takao: Well, it’d be no joke if Shin-chan were to keel over from working too hard, so I’ll go keep him company.
Ootsubo: Okay. In that case, we’ll be on our way.
Takao: Roger that! Thanks for your hard work today!
[Kimura, Miyaji, and Ootsubo leave]
Takao: Alrighty then…
[Takao approaches Midorima]
Takao: Yo! Somebody’s sure working hard!
Midorima: …how many times do I have to tell you? I am simply doing everything in my power to succeed.
Takao: I’d expect no less! You’re a can-do kinda guy!
Midorima: That line sounds like it could easily be misinterpreted.
Takao: Hey, listen, let me see you make a shot from the end line.
Midorima: And why, precisely, should I listen to you?
Takao: ‘Cause I wanna see you do it! I’m begging ya, Shin-chan!
Midorima: …… [starts walking toward the end line]
Takao: Oh! Thanks a million!
Midorima: …good grief. …! [takes a shot…]
[…and makes a basket]
Takao: Damn—! Got it in one! Man, no matter how many times I see you do that, it’s still awesome.
[Midorima walks back across the court]
Midorima: It’s not some exhibition, you know.
Takao: No, but it could be. What d’ya say we start charging the spectators admission?
Midorima: Unbelievable… My shot isn’t so cheap that I would use it to cheat spectators out of their money.
Takao: Ooh, what a stand-up thing to say. Yep, dependable as always. Oh, I know! Maybe I’ll start working on a super-long-range three-pointer like yours, Shin-chan.
Midorima: It’s not something you can do just by imitating me.
Takao: [starts dribbling] Well, making one from the end line might be asking a bit much, but maybe from around here… Yah! [takes a shot; the ball bounces off the rim] Whoa?! That was actually pretty close!
Midorima: “Close” doesn’t cut it. You must make the shot one hundred percent of the time. That certainty is what defines my shot.
Takao: Hey, take it easy! …maybe this one’ll go in?! [takes a shot; the ball bounces off the rim again] Maaaan—! Sooo close!
Midorima: It doesn’t matter how close you were. Moreover, why do you insist on interfering with my practice?
Takao: C’mon, what’s the big deal? Let’s practice together!
Midorima: No, thank you. I was unable to complete my required amount of shooting practice during our regular practice, so I need to finish it now.
Takao: Speaking of which, you didn’t use any of your willful requests so you could practice on your own today, did ya?
Midorima: Only because I knew I could still accomplish my objective if I stayed late to practice, like this.
Takao: Is that so…? You sure it wasn’t just ‘cause you wanted to practice with the rest of us?
Midorima: Don’t be ridiculous. I simply wanted to conserve my requests for the day. I will use all of them tomorrow.
Takao: Yeah, yeah. Let’s go with that for now.
[Kimura, Miyaji, and Ootsubo arrive]
Miyaji: Hey! How’s the extra practice goin’?
Takao: Wha…? I thought you were already headed home…
Kimura: Well, see, we just felt like gettin’ in a little more practice today.
Ootsubo: Can we join you?
Takao: Yeah, sure thing! Here goes! Let’s do some extra practice together! See, I’d been hoping to get in a little more passing practice myself.
Ootsubo: Yes, I’d like to do the same. Count me in, if you don’t mind.
Takao: By all means! I’m gonna send some passes your way, too, Shin-chan, so get ready!
Midorima: …fine. Let’s get started, then.
Takao: …huh? You don’t mind?
Midorima: You’re doing passing practice, correct? And I agreed to participate, did I not?
Takao: Yeah, but that’s not the problem. …you won’t be able to finish your shooting practice, you know?
Midorima: That may be true, but this is just another way of ensuring that I am doing everything in my power to succeed.
Takao: Well, if you’re okay with it, then I’m not complaining. Okay, Ootsubo-san! [passes to Ootsubo]
Ootsubo: Alright! Kimura and Miyaji, you’re on defense.
Kimura: Got it! C’mon! You won’t get past me!
Miyaji: ‘Kay, I’m gonna mark Midorima.
Ootsubo: We need to move faster, or they’ll break right through our formation! [passes to Midorima] Go, Midorima! Take your shot!
Midorima: …!! [shoots and makes a basket]
Miyaji: Arrgh, dammit! We won’t let you get off a shot next time!
Ootsubo: Nice shot, Midorima! Now you and I are going to shake up the defense!
Miyaji: Just how many times do you think we’re gonna stand by and let you get a clean look?!
Takao: Hm? Shin-chan, what’re you smiling for?
Midorima: Who said I was smiling?
Takao: You were smiling, just now. I saw you.
Midorima: Forget about that and focus on the task at hand. You’re supposed to break up the defense with the captain and me.
Takao: Heh! I hear ya, loud and clear! You just keep making those baskets!
Midorima: I was already planning to!
– – –
青峰を練習へ出させる大作戦 / Aomine wo Renshuu he Dasaseru Daisakusen / The Elaborate Plan to Get Aomine to Come to Practice
Secret Event: Touou
[in the gym at Touou]
Momoi: So, the practice game is scheduled for this coming Saturday afternoon. They’re a bad matchup for us, so let’s work on drafting a game plan.
Imayoshi: That’s how it is. We might lose this one if we go in without a plan. It’s just a practice game, but it sounds like we’ve got a good bit of prep work to do.
Aomine: Alright, I heard what you had to say, so I’m heading home now.
Imayoshi: ‘Scuse me, but if you’ve actually been listening, then you should know what I want ya to do.
Aomine: You want me to practice, right? I don’t need to. There’s no point. I mean, if there ain’t anybody around who can beat me, what’s the point of getting stronger?
Imayoshi: Stop and think about that for a sec, Aomine. You wanna face off against some strong players, don’t you?
Aomine: Like I just said, there ain’t any.
Imayoshi: At least let me finish, would you? You can’t find any strong opponents…and that’s your own fault. Ain’t that right?
Aomine: Huh? How d’ya figure that?
Imayoshi: So ya never take our games seriously, and your play’s always half assed. But then our opponents and the people who come to watch think that half-assed play of yours is our true strength—in which case our opponents only prepare for a team at that level and don’t expect anythin’ more from us.
Aomine: And that means that if I played seriously, they’d just give up before the game even started.
Imayoshi: What about the teams with guys who get all fired up when faced with stiff competition? Seirin’s a shining example of one. So whether it’s a practice game or a real game or whatever, you go crush your opponents with all you’ve got. And once you’ve shown ‘em your true strength, your opponents will start comin’ prepared to face ya.
Aomine: …yeah, that makes sense.
Imayoshi: Exactly. So, in order to put that overwhelming strength on display, we need to use our practices to draw up a game plan…
Aomine: Yeah, good luck with that. I’m plenty strong without wasting my time on something like that. [leaves]
Imayoshi: Hey, Aomine!
Momoi: Honestly! Aomine-kun! You need to participate in practice!
Imayoshi: Maaan… No dice, huh? I thought I’d cooked up a pretty good plan, too.
Momoi: Huh? What plan?
Imayoshi: We’ve got a little wager goin’, to see if any of us can get Aomine to stay for practice. If you manage to do it, you get treated to a meal on everybody else’s dime… So much for my plan, I guess. Up next is Sakurai’s “I Want to Show My Ailing Mother the Best Basketball Game Ever” plan, right?
Momoi: Geez, what kind of plan is that? I think you should be taking this a little more seriously.
Imayoshi: Alright, take it easy. Whatever the means we use, if Aomine ends up coming to practice as a result, you’d be happy, too, wouldn’t ya?
Momoi: Well, that may be true, but…
Imayoshi: Then just leave it to us.
[on the roof of the school building]
Aomine: So? What did ya wanna talk about?
Sakurai: Um, well, the truth is—I’m terribly ill!
Aomine: Come again?
Sakurai: Ah! I’m sorry! That’s not right! What I meant to say was—my mother is terribly ill!
Aomine: Huh… That’s a tough break.
Sakurai: Which is why I want to show my hospitalized mother the best basketball game ever! I thought she might start feeling better after seeing it.
Aomine: But if she’s hospitalized, she won’t be able to come see the game, right?
Sakurai: Aaaaahh! Um…she was discharged from the hospital!
Aomine: What the—? If she’s been discharged, then that means she’s already better, don’t it?
Sakurai: Aaaaahh—! I’m sorry! That’s right; she hasn’t been discharged yet! She has a day off from hospitalization on the day of the game, so she’ll be able to come watch us play!
Aomine: I never knew people got days off from being hospitalized… But that means she’ll be able to come watch the game?
Sakurai: Exactly! So I’d like to show her the best basketball game ever!
Aomine: Cool… Alright, Ryou, go practice your ass off and let her watch you knock down a bunch of threes.
Sakurai: Y-yes! I’ll do my best! ……huh?
Aomine: ‘Kay, I’m starving, so I’m heading to the convenience store. [leaves]
Sakurai: ……alright. I’ve got to try my hardest.
Imayoshi: What’re you goin’ on about? That was a complete failure.
Sakurai: Ack! I’m so sorry! I got totally swept up in the conversation!
Imayoshi: Nah, you were just spinnin’ your wheels. …well, that’s that. Let’s move on.
Susa: Aomine, I made this during basketball practice. What d’ya think?
Aomine: Huuuh? What’s this supposed to be? “Practice Participation Stamp Card”?
Susa: Yep. Every time you show up at practice, you get a stamp. Stores have cards like this one all the time, right?
Aomine: So? What happens when you fill up the card?
Susa: When you fill it up, huh…? Crap!! I didn’t think that far ahead!
Aomine: Okay, see ya.
Wakamatsu: Listen, Aomine. I’ve got something to say to you.
Aomine: But I’ve got nothing to say to you. Later. [leaves]
Wakamtsu: Hold iiiit—!
[in the gym]
Imayoshi: So nobody’s plan successfully managed to get Aomine to come to practice.
Wakamatsu: I didn’t even get the chance to put my plan into action!
Imayoshi: You need to start by gettin’ to the point where you can hold an actual conversation with Aomine. I hate to say it, but it looks like we’re 0 for 4 this time around. Should we start brainstorming ideas for next time?
Momoi: Thanks for your hard work today—!
Imayoshi: Oh, hey, Momoi… So that’s all of us, then. Alright, let’s get on with practice.
Momoi: No, we’re still one short. One more person will be joining us today.
[Aomine arrives, dribbling a basketball]
Aomine: Damn, it’s been a while since I played ball in here.
Imayoshi: Aomine?! You came to practice?! How the heck did that happen?!
Aomine: Huh? Satsuki said she’d buy me food if I came to practice, so here I am. Let’s hurry up and get this over with so we can go grab some sushi!
Momoi: The wager was that whoever could get Aomine-kun to come to practice would get treated to a meal, correct? When I told him that, he agreed to come.
Imayoshi: We’re not supposed to be treatin’ him! And why sushi, of all things?! We were thinkin’ more along the lines of fast food.
Sakurai: But that’s not the biggest problem. From now on, we might not be able to get him to come to practice unless we buy him food…
Momoi: …I didn’t think about that! Wh-what should we do?! Aomine-kun, the deal’s off!
Aomine: What?! You’ve gotta be kidding me! My taste buds are all set for sushi!
Momoi: But, I mean, if we treat you to a meal now, you probably won’t come to practice if we don’t do that from now on.
Aomine: Yep, that’s about right.
Momoi: See?! That’s why the deal is off! Oh, but you’re more than welcome to stay!
Aomine: No sushi? Are you serious…? Well, that doesn’t mean I won’t stick around.
Aomine: I wanna see how my elbow’s healing, so I had already been planning to come to practice today. And then when you told me I’d get treated to a meal if I showed up, I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone.
Momoi: I-I’m sorry… Well, we can’t treat you to a meal, but I can make something for you instead!
Aomine: As if I could eat anything you make! I need your cooking like I need a hole in the head!
Momoi: Geez. Why do you have to be so mean?!
Aomine: I ain’t being mean! It’s self defense! …well, let’s hurry up and start practice. I’ve gotta crush my opponents and show Ryou’s mom some basketball and…wasn’t there somethin’ else?
Imayoshi: …you got it. Let’s get on with practicing so we can crush our opponents and put on a real show. Well, what d’ya know! Aomine’s actually a pretty good guy, ain’t he?
Momoi: No, he’s a big meanie! He said he didn’t want my food… He’s a horrible person!
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