[translation] Free! Drama CD「Iwatobi High School Swim Club Activity Log 1」

STATUS: Complete (Tracks 1-7/7)

Free! ドラマ CD「岩鳶高校水泳部 活動日誌1」
Free! Drama CD “Iwatobi High School Swim Club Activity Log 1”

Makoto: “I’m not dead yet!”

[Track 1: “One Scene from the Daily Routine”]

– –

Haruka: Free! Drama CD “Iwatobi High School Swim Club Activity Log 1”

Rei: “One Scene from the Daily Routine”

– –

[at the pool; Haruka swimming]

Gou: Haruka-senpai! You can do it—!

[Haruka touches the wall]

Makoto: Good work, Haru! Here, grab on. [offers Haruka his hand]

Haruka: Makoto… [lets Makoto help him out of the water]

Makoto: You improved your time again.

Haruka: I told you I couldn’t care less about my time.

Makoto: [sighs] Par for the course, I guess…

[Nagisa runs up to them]

Nagisa: Haru-chan—! Mako-chan—! [hugs Haruka and Makoto] I just set a new personal record, too! Tell me what a good job I did!

Haruka: Nagisa, you’re heavy…! And don’t hug me from behind like that!

Nagisa: Whaaat, why not—?

Makoto: You set a new personal record? Good for you, Nagisa!

Nagisa: [giggles] Yeah. But you did, too, didn’t you, Mako-chan?

Makoto: I’ve been in pretty good form lately.

Gou: Heh. Haruka-senpai, Makoto-senpai, and Nagisa-kun, you’ve all managed to improve your times!

Nagisa: Oh, Gou-chan!

Gou: The three of you have been doing really well, but Rei-kun, on the other hand…

Rei: [muttering] I don’t understand. Why can’t I improve my time?

Gou: He seems to be stuck in a rut…

Makoto: Really?

Gou: I wonder why, though. He’s certainly practicing enough.

Rei: Of course I am. There is no time limit on how long I can practice.

Nagisa: Hmmmm…

Haruka: Rei, do you want to improve your form?

Rei: Yes. I’ve watched DVDs from the Swimming World Cup, read textbooks on the subject, and compared what I’ve researched to my form, and I’ve improved in a variety of areas. However…

Makoto: Oh, Rei, when you’re working on modifying your form, you don’t have to worry about your time—

Nagisa: I know! You just have to shave!

Rei: …excuse me?

Nagisa: Body hair creates resistance in the water. That’s what they said on some TV show!

Makoto: Oh…! I saw the same program.

Rei: Hm? …what exactly are you trying to say, Nagisa-kun…?

Nagisa: Like I said, Rei-chan, you just have to shave!

Rei: I will not. I positively, absolutely will not!

Nagisa: But why not, Rei-chan…?

Rei: What makes you think I would agree to something like that?! Haruka-senpai, save me, please!

Haruka: Nagisa, cut it out.

Nagisa: Don’t try to stop me, Haru-chan! This is for Rei-chan’s own good!

Haruka: Rei, just give up.

Rei: Haruka-senpai—!

Nagisa: Rei-chan, don’t you want to get faster?

Rei: Ack—! Er… I do, but I just can’t…

Nagisa: Rei-chan, I think that wholeheartedly striving for perfection in a sport is what it means to be an athlete!

Rei: Urgh…

Nagisa: So it’ll be just fine! [grabs hold of Rei] Just leave it to me!

Rei: Eh…? Ah…Nagisa-kun…? Why are you holding me like that?

Nagisa: I’ll give you a perfect shave! Now, to the locker room—!

Rei: [being dragged to the locker room] Wai—! Nagisa-kun—! I don’t want to! Let go of me, please!

Nagisa: Hehe. It’ll be fine! Totally fine!

Rei: Saying that doesn’t make it any better!

Nagisa: You’ll be super sleek and silky smooth—!

Rei: Please don’t make it sound like a commercial for some detergent! I don’t want to be anything like that! [Nagisa opens the locker room door] Noooooooo—!

[locker room door slams shut behind them]

– –

Rei: Part II… “One Scene from the Daily Routine”…

– –

Makoto: Rei and Nagisa still haven’t come back yet…

Haruka: I’m sure they’ll be back in just a—

Rei: [in the background] GYAAAAAAAH—!!

Makoto: Um…you really think Rei’s alright…?

Haruka: No idea…

Gou: Erk… You can’t help but feel sorry for him.

Makoto: Apparently it’s normal for Olympic swimmers to shave in order to reduce water resistance, but do you think there are any high schoolers who shave?

Haruka: Who knows…

Gou: Oh, my brother shaves, you know.

Haruka: Huh?

Makoto: What—?!

– – –

[Track 2: “Swimsuit Development”]

– –

Nagisa: “Swimsuit Development”!

– –

Rei: Why…? I can’t improve my time…

[Makoto approaches]

Makoto: Rei! What’s the matter?

Rei: Ah, Makoto-senpai. Well, I can’t make any headway with my time…

Makoto: Oh, like I said, when you’re working on modifying your form, you don’t have to worry about your time—

Nagisa: I know! It’s your swimsuit!

Rei: What rock did you crawl out from under, Nagisa-kun?

Nagisa: Don’t make me sound like some kind of maggot! That’s so rude! Anyway, as I was saying, your swimsuit is the reason you can’t improve your time!

Rei: My…swimsuit?

Nagisa: Yeah! On TV the other day, they were talking about how they’re developing swimsuits with material that mimics the slipperiness of a fish!

Rei: I’m assuming there’s no way I can persuade you to just leave it at that.

Nagisa: Rei-chan, you just need to wear one of those swimsuits!

Rei: I know what you’re talking about. Those are the ones where the surface of the swimsuit is coated in gel that mimics a fish’s mucous membrane, correct? There’s no way a mere high school student would be able to acquire one of those. This is ridiculous…

Nagisa: Can’t you just make the surface of your swimsuit slippery? So…here! You can use this! [pops the cap on a bottle] It’s slime! [slimy sound]

Rei: Na-Nagisa-kun… Where on earth were you hiding that?

Nagisa: Don’t sweat the small stuff! No worries!

Rei: But I am worried! What exactly…are you planning to do with that?

Nagisa: Heheh. Come on, Rei-chan, let’s get you slimy—!

[Nagisa begins chasing Rei]

Rei: No! Absolutely not!

Nagisa: Wait, Rei-chan! If you use this, you’ll set a new personal record!

Rei: Why can’t you think of any legitimately good ideas?!

Nagisa: Edison’s and Watson’s inventions were inspired by a stroke of genius just like this! I’m sure of it!

Rei: Watson was a molecular biologist! He was not an inventor!

Makoto: H-hey… Nagisa, Rei, that’s enough!

Rei: Then stop Nagisa-kun, please, Makoto-senpai!

Makoto: Nagisa! I said that’s enough!

Nagisa: Then we’ll get you slimy, too, Mako-chan!

Makoto: Wha—?! Hey, wait…! Nagisa! Stop!

Nagisa: Alright, slime time! [coats Makoto in slime]

Makoto: Gyaaaaa—!! [at death’s door]

Rei: Makoto-senpai…! I…I’ll never forget you, Makoto-senpai!

Makoto: I’m not dead yet!

[Nagisa catches Rei]

Rei: Eek—!

Nagisa: Heh heh heh… Rei-chan, gotcha!

Rei: N-Nagisa-kun…

Nagisa: Okay, slime time! [coats Rei in slime]

Rei: AAAAGYAAAAAAH—!! [near death]

Nagisa: Now you should both see some improvement in your times!

[Makoto and Rei begin slipping and sliding all over the place]

Makoto: I’m gonna fall!

Rei: This…is actually quite dangerous…!

Nagisa: Hmmm… Hehe. You look like a pair of newborn fawns!

Makoto and Rei: Just whose fault do you think that is—?!

Nagisa: Now, now.

Rei: Nagisa-kun! Is this really…going to improve my time?!

Nagisa: Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Try going for a swim, Rei-chan!

Rei: But…! If I…slip and fall…! I can’t even…make it to the…starting block…you know!

Haruka: Hey! You guys!

Makoto: Haru—!

Nagisa: Oh, Haru-chan! I’ve developed a new swimsuit!

Haruka: A “new swimsuit”…? … So, are you intending to get in the pool like that?

Rei: Huh?! Uh, well…Nagisa-kun said this would help me improve my time…so I was planning to test it…

Haruka: [menacing aura] Don’t. You’ll contaminate the water.

Makoto: Erk—! Haru’s furious! How’re you going to fix this, Nagisa?!

Rei: He’s angry at me because of you, Nagisa-kun—!

Nagisa: Huh?! That’s horrible, you two! I’m not the only one at fault!

Rei: It is your fault and yours alone, without a doubt! I kept trying to tell you not to—wah! Ahhh! I’m slipping—! [grabs hold of Nagisa]

Nagisa: Wha—?! Hey, Rei-chan, don’t grab me when you’re all slimy!

Makoto: Uwaaah—! Nagisa, don’t push me! I-I’m gonna fall—!

Nagisa: B-but Rei-chan’s grabbing me—waaaah!

Rei: What do you want me…to do about it?!

Nagisa: R-Rei-chan! Let…let go!

Makoto: Uwaaah—! I told you not to push me, Nagisa!

Nagisa: Like I said, Rei-chan’s grabbing me, and I—!

Rei: I’m doing my best, here! Wait—! Nagisa-kun, don’t move! Please! It’s dangerous!

Nagisa: Uwaaah—!

Makoto: Aaaaaah—!

Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei: Waaaaah—!!

[Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei fall into the pool]

Haruka: [sighs] I’m surrounded by idiots.

– – –

[Track 3: “If You Could Choose a Boyfriend: Iwatobi Edition”]

– –

Nagisa: “If You Could Choose a Boyfriend: Iwatobi Edition”

– –

Nagisa: Eh?! Rei-chan, did you make that bentou yourself?

Rei: Yes.

Nagisa: Even this fried chicken? And these beautiful boiled veggies?

Rei: Yes. What of it?

Makoto: Whoa…! Rei, that’s amazing! Haru, you make your own, too, don’t you?

Haruka: Yeah…

Makoto: Your bentou…definitely has a mackerel theme going on…

Nagisa: Hey, does that mean you’ve made all of the bentou you’ve brought to school so far?

Rei: Naturally. It’s easier to monitor the nutritional content if I make them myself. Nagisa-kun, how about you stop eating bread all the time and try learning how to cook? Nowadays, men with domestic skills are preferred as partners.

Nagisa: Really…? Hmmm…. But I love eating Iwato-Big Surprise bread, so I’ll pass!

Makoto: “Iwato”…

Haruka: …“Big Surprise bread”…?

Rei: What on earth is that? It sounds distinctly unappetizing.

Nagisa: It’s filled with strawberry jam and marmalade and covered in chocolate—all for just 400 yen! So cheap!

Rei: What are you talking about?! That’s incredibly expensive!

Haruka: I’m getting cavities just listening to you talk about it.

Nagisa: What? It’s yummy! Here, Haru-chan, try a bite! [offers the bread to Haruka]

Haruka: No. I don’t want it.

Nagisa: C’mon, now, don’t be like that! Here! Say, “Ah—!” [shoves the bread at Haruka]

Haruka: [takes a bite and chokes] Too sweet…! [coughing]

Makoto: Hey, cut it out, Nagisa! Water! Rei, give me some water!

Nagisa: Whaaat? Why?

Rei: Makoto-senpai, I have some water. Please take it.

Makoto: Oh! Thanks, Rei. Here, Haru. Drink this.

Haruka: [chugs water; starts coughing again; breathing heavily]

Makoto: Are you okay, Haru?

Nagisa: I don’t get it! [munching] I think it’s delicious…

Rei: Nagisa-kun. That bread is obviously not nutritionally balanced.

Nagisa: Hm, you think so? I’ve never considered nutrition before, but I wonder if I should give it a shot.

Makoto: Well, in any case, it can’t hurt to know how to cook.

Haruka: Nagisa! I can teach you how to cook with mackerel.

Nagisa: Really?!

Rei: Mackerel includes a variety of nutrients, so it’s an excellent food to include in one’s diet. It effectively prevents many different illnesses, including lifestyle diseases, and it fosters healthy, beautiful skin. Additionally, it is said to be good for the brain.

Makoto: Whoa—!

Rei: Makoto-senpai, your bentou also looks fairly well balanced. It provides the appropriate number of calories for someone of your physique.

Makoto: Wow, really? My mother makes it for me every day, but I never stopped to think about the nutritional content.

Nagisa: Haru-chan and Rei-chan make their own bentou, and Mako-chan’s mom makes his for him…? Wait a sec…! Me, me, me! Pick me!

Makoto: Nagisa? Why are you raising your hand?

Nagisa: Okay, okay, so, if you were a girl, and you were going to date one of us, who would you choose?

Makoto: Huh?!

Haruka: Where’d that come from?

Rei: I don’t follow you at all.

Nagisa: Like I said, we’re talking what ifs, here!

Makoto: How did you make the jump from talking about bentou to talking about that?

Nagisa: But Rei-chan just said, [mimicking Rei] “Men with domestic skills are preferred as partners, you know.” I’m just saying, if you were girls, who would you choose?

Rei: Please don’t tell me you were trying to imitate me just now.

Nagisa: Right on the money, huh?

Rei: Not in the least.

Nagisa: [mimicking Rei] “Not in the least.”

Rei: Ugh!

Nagisa: Lemme see…hmm… Who would I choose? Definitely not Rei-chan. He’d be picky about everything.

Rei: What are you talking about, Nagisa-kun?! I’d be the most perfect partner anyone could ever ask for!

Nagisa: Huh?! Are you sure about that…? Rei-chan, you’d be nagging me all the time! You’d be like, “Be careful with that!” or “Do it properly!”

Rei: “Nagging”?! What is that supposed to mean?! Listen, and listen well. I have an excellent memory, so I would never forget important days, like my partner’s birthday! I could cook for my partner, and my time-management skills are flawless, so I would never be late when we go out together! I would research date spots beforehand, make a list of shops to visit, and even plan the route we could take to get there! I know I could show my date a wonderful time as the perfect escort, on an outing that leaves nothing to be desired!

Makoto: Hey, Haru, did you just think, “Man, he sounds like an infomercial”?

Haruka: How did you know?

Makoto: [laughs] Because I had the same thought.

Nagisa: Okay, then which one of us would you want to date, Rei-chan?

Rei: Myself, of course.

Nagisa: How should I put this…? Rei-chan, that’s unfortunate. Such a waste.

Haruka: Yep, too bad.

Makoto: Don’t say that! That’s what makes Rei who he is!

Rei: Makoto-senpai… That’s not helping…

Nagisa: Alrighty then, what about you, Mako-chan? Who would you want to date?

Makoto: What? Uh… I wonder… Hmm… I can relax around Haru, since we’ve been together forever. It would be fun to be with you, Nagisa, since you’re so cheerful. And Rei’s got his act together, so I think he’d treat me well. There are things I like about each of you. Hmmm… I guess I can’t choose.

Haruka, Nagisa, and Rei: [sigh]

Makoto: What? Huh? What’s the matter?

Nagisa: Umm… Isn’t there a name for this?

Makoto: Huh?

Haruka: It’s called “being indecisive”.

Makoto: Wha—?!

Rei: Makoto-senpai, someone is going to break your heart someday.

Makoto: Hey! Why?!

Haruka: If you’re too nice, people will walk all over you.

Makoto: You agree with him, Haru?!

Nagisa: Okay, then what about you, Haru-chan? Who would you choose?

Haruka: …Makoto.

Makoto: Me?!

Haruka: Because it seems like it’d be easy.

Rei: That’s your reason…?

Nagisa: Whaaaat? You’d choose Mako-chan…?

Rei: Well, Makoto-senpai is very kind, and it seems like he would cherish him.

Nagisa: Hey, listen, Haru-chan! If I were your boyfriend, I’d grill mackerel every morning for you!

Haruka: I pick Nagisa.

Makoto: What—?!

Nagisa: Sweet! I did it!

Rei: So Haruka-senpai makes all his decisions based on mackerel…

Makoto: Heh… Ha ha ha ha… I lost to mackerel…!

– – –

[Track 4: “If You Could Choose a Boyfriend: Samezuka Edition”]

– –

Rin: “If You Could Choose a Boyfriend: Samezuka Edition”

– –

[Rin swimming in the Samezuka pool; touches the wall]

Nitori: Matsuoka-senpai! Good work! Here’s a towel for you!

Rin: Oh, thanks.

Nitori: Senpai, congratulations! You’ve improved your time again!

Rin: Nitori. A time like that is nothing to get excited about. [tosses the towel back to Nitori] I have much bigger goals to achieve.

Nitori: That may be, but setting a new personal record is still something worth celebrating—

Rin: This is just a stepping stone. (That’s right. It’s nothing more than a stepping stone.) [starts walking away] (I need to get even faster.)

Mikoshiba: Yo! [claps Rin on the back]

Rin: Urgh—!

Mikoshiba: Great work out there!

Nitori: Oh, Captain Mikoshiba! Good work today!

Mikoshiba: You two sure get along well, don’tcha? Oh, that’s right. You’re sharing a room at the dorm, aren’t ya?

Nitori: Yes! We are!

Rin: That doesn’t mean we get along particularly well—

Mikoshiba: Don’t be shy! [clapping Rin on the back] Don’t be shy!

Rin: I’m not! And that hurts!

Mikoshiba: But Nitori, isn’t it hard to share a room with Matsuoka? He’s antisocial, and he doesn’t look like he knows anything about cleaning or whatever…

Rin: I’m right here, you know.

Nitori: That couldn’t be further from the truth! Matsuoka-senpai is actually very reliable! Unexpected, isn’t it?

Rin: Nitori, you’ll regret this later.

Nitori: Huh? Is something the matter?

Rin: Just forget it.

Mikoshiba: Oh, that reminds me. You know, Matsuoka has his little sister… [enamored] …Gou-kun, so maybe that’s why he’s good at looking after people?

Rin: Captain, I don’t recall ever saying it was acceptable for you to call my little sister by her first name.

Mikoshiba: Hm? I need your permission? Okay, sorry ‘bout that! Matsuoka, can I call Gou-kun by her first—

Rin: I am never going to give you permission to do that!

Mikoshiba: Come on, now! [clapping Rin on the back]

Rin: Ouch—! That hurts!!

Mikoshiba: It’s perfectly fine! Learn to lighten up a little!

Rin: It is not “fine”! Not at all! And I’m dead serious—!

Mikoshiba: Ack!

Nitori: But Matsuoka-senpai, the fact that you’re good at looking after people proves you’re a great sibling!

Rin: Like I know! Anyway, forget about me. You should learn to be a little more reliable, Nitori.

Mikoshiba: He speaks the truth!

Nitori: You think so, too, Captain…?

Mikoshiba: By the way, I’m actually pretty reliable!

Rin: Yeah, well, you’re the captain. That’s your job.

Nitori: So, Matsuoka-senpai, does that mean you prefer people who are reliable? I thought as much.

Rin: Huh?

Nitori: Um, okay, let’s say you’re a girl and are going to date someone. Would you rather date me…or the captain?

Rin: What?! Are you insane? Where’d that come from?

Nitori: It’s not a big deal! Please answer the question, senpai. Which one of us would you prefer?

Mikoshiba: Hahahahaha! This is pretty interesting! Who would ya pick, Matsuoka?

Rin: Ugh…damn, what a pain…! (But knowing these two, they won’t be satisfied ‘til I answer. I guess I’ll mull it over for a sec so I can hurry up and get back to practicing. If I were dating Captain Mikoshiba…)

– –

[inside Rin’s imagination]

Mikoshiba: [running up to Rin] Hey, Matsuoka—! We’re lucky it’s sunny today, huh? Perfect weather for a date!

Rin: Captain Mikoshiba, just what time do you think it is?

Mikoshiba: Hm? It’s five to twelve. ‘Cause I always try to arrive five minutes early!

Rin: We were supposed to meet at eleven freaking o’clock…!

Mikoshiba: Oh! Eleven o’clock, huh? Hahahaha! Wow, sorry ‘bout that! I screwed up!

Rin: Alright, whatever. Where are we going today?

Mikoshiba: Hm, let’s see…

[wind whistles by]

Mikoshiba: Oh! The wind is blowing in a southerly direction! Alright! Let’s head south!

Rin: Huh—? What’s to the south?

Mikoshiba: No idea! I go wherever the wind takes me!

Rin: Wait, wha—?

Mikoshiba: Matsuoka—! Here we go—! [struts off]

Rin: Unbelievable. He just left me behind!

– –

[back in reality]

Rin: (Yeah, no. Then what about Nitori…?)

– –

[inside Rin’s imagination]

Rin: Whoa, you’re early, Nitori. When’d you get here?

Nitori: Oh, hello, Matsuoka-senpai! Good morning! Since I have a date with you today, senpai, I’ve been on standby for two hours!

Rin: That’s way too long.

Nitori: No, it’s only normal!

Rin: Fine, whatever. So? Where’re we headed?

Nitori: Would you like to see a movie at the shopping mall in front of the station?

Rin: Okay.

Nitori: I already bought our tickets! [offers Rin the tickets] Here, please take one!

Rin: O-okay, sure. [accepts a ticket] Thanks.

Nitori: Oh, I made bentou for us, too, so let me know if you get hungry!

Rin: Okay.

Nitori: I also brought tea, so let me know if you get thirsty!

Rin: Okay…

Nitori: I’ll blow on it to cool it off and have it ready for you in a jiffy!

Rin: Okay……

Nitori: Also, if you get tired of walking, I brought some simple camping equipment, so—

Rin: What the hell—?! [coughing]

Nitori: Just let me know—

– –

[back in reality]

Rin: [sighs] (Yeah, no.)

Nitori: Senpai! Which one of us would you prefer? Me or the captain?

Mikoshiba: How ‘bout it, Matsuoka?

Rin: Neither of you. [starts walking away]

Nitori: Ah! Wait for me, senpai—!

– – –

[Track 5: “Training Camp”]

– –

Makoto: “Training Camp”

– –

Makoto: We, the Iwatobi swim club, are holding a training camp. Our club budget is nonexistent, so we pitched tents on the beach. It’s been pretty pleasant so far, but there’s just one problem…

– –

Nagisa: Thank goodness! I’m so glad they’re letting us borrow the bath at the inn!

Rei: They divert the water straight from the source, though, so we’ll practically be bathing in the spring itself.

Makoto: But there’s something appealing about being able to look at the stars while we bathe, so I don’t really mind.

Haruka: So long as I can soak in the water, I don’t care.

Makoto: Haru, don’t stay in too long, okay? You’ll get boiled.

[opens the door to the bath]

Nagisa: Whoa—! It’s huge! [splashing] Come on, you guys, hurry up! I’m first—! [runs and jumps into the water]

Makoto: Hey, wait—! Nagisa! Don’t dive into the bath!

Nagisa: Ahhh… This feels heavenly…

Makoto: [sighs] Nothing beats a big, open bath… Right, Haru?

Haruka: It’s nice.

Rei: That’s because soaking in the bath relaxes your mind and body, and it also helps ease the tension from strained muscles.

Nagisa: Speaking of muscles, Mako-chan is pretty built.

Makoto: I am? Huh. You think?

Haruka: Once we started training, your physique changed in a relatively short amount of time.

Makoto: Hmm… Yeah, I guess I’m the type who puts on muscle easily.

Nagisa: Lemme touch ‘em!

Makoto: Okay.

Nagisa: Mako-chan, Mako-chan! Try flexing your arm.

Makoto: Mnn…!

Nagisa: Wow—! Mako-chan, that’s amazing! They’re rock hard!

Rei: But don’t you think you might be a little too muscular, Makoto-senpai? If you build too much muscle, it gets harder to stay afloat.

Makoto: It’s never really bothered me, though…

Nagisa: Rei-chan, you even think about that sort of stuff?

Rei: Of course. In order to be in the ideal condition for swimming, I measure and record my muscle mass and body mass index every day.

Haruka: Rei, how come you do all that and can still only swim butterfly?

Rei: Ah…?! [sinks into the water]

Makoto: Haru, you made him sink.

Haruka: My bad.

Nagisa: I’m so jealous of you guys! I’m trying my best, but I can’t seem to build any muscle.

Rei: [breaks the surface] Just leave that to me!

Makoto: Oh. He came back up.

Rei: I’ll design a plan especially for you to help you build muscle as easily as possible!

Nagisa: What? Really?! Thank you, Rei-chan—!

Makoto: While we’re on the subject, Haru’s body is perfectly proportioned. Not too much or too little muscle, but just the right amount, you know?

Haruka: You think so?

Nagisa: Haru-chan really does remind me of a dolphin.

Makoto: You’re right. Oh, then what about me? What do I remind you of?

Rei: You, Makoto-senpai…?

Nagisa: Mako-chan, you’re like a…whale? Nope, that’s not quite right. Hmmm…

Haruka: An orca.

Rei: An orca…?

Nagisa: Whaaaat? He’s nothing like that! Aren’t orcas really aggressive?

Makoto: Why an orca?

Haruka: Because you’re a very powerful swimmer.

Rei: Oh…! Yes, he’s very dynamic in the water!

Nagisa: I get it! Yeah, maybe he is like an orca!

Makoto: Wha…? Really?

Rei: Haruka-senpai, what do I remind you of?

Nagisa: A hammer!

Rei: Nagisa-kun!

Haruka: Rei is a butterfly.

Makoto: A butterfly…?

Nagisa: That’s not a fish, you know.

Haruka: He dives freely, like a butterfly, without letting anything stand in his way.

Rei: Well, in fact, Haruka-senpai was the one who told me to just dive in. A butterfly… A butterfly, huh? That’s beautiful. It suits me perfectly!

Nagisa: Okay, okay, so what about me?

Haruka: A penguin.

Rei: Ah…!

Makoto: That makes sense.

Nagisa: A penguin…? Hooray! [splashing]

Rei: What? You’re happy about that?

Nagisa: Because I, like, love penguins! I chose this school partly because Haru-chan and Mako-chan are here, but also because it’s called “Iwatobi”! You know, like the rockhopper penguins? I love the name of our school!

Makoto: Nagisa? I had no idea you liked penguins that much.

Rei: Well, I think it’s a perfect fit for you. The way rockhopper penguins waddle around on land is just like you, Nagisa-kun.

Nagisa: I know, right? But they’re incredible once they get in the water! And the fact that butterflies can’t swim if they get wet makes you just like a butterfly, Rei-chan!

Rei: What do you mean by that?! I don’t sink like a rock all the time! I can swim butterfly— [continues in the background] Besides, penguins are totally sluggish on land!

Makoto: [to Haru] So, one way or another, you’re looking out for all of us.

Nagisa: [in the background] But penguins are cute, so it doesn’t matter!

Haruka: I’m only looking at everyone’s posture in the water. (It needs to be beautiful, otherwise—)

Makoto: “Our posture needs to be beautiful, otherwise it’s hard to become one with the water”, right?

Haruka: How did you know?

Makoto: How could I not know? Just how many years do you think we’ve been together?

Haruka: Then tell me what I’m thinking right now.

Makoto: [sighs] Why are you so hung up on this…? Hm, let’s see… “Stupid Makoto”, maybe?

Haruka: ?! You got it right…

Makoto: [laughs] Well, it was written all over your face.

Haruka: Then what about now?!

Makoto: We’re still doing this? Hm, lemme think… “I want mackerel cooked in miso for dinner!”, maybe?

Haruka: Wrong! The correct answer is “mackerel grilled with salt”. I win!

Makoto: [laughs] Hey, what are we even competing for?

– – –

[Track 6: “The Story of When Nagisa and Haruka First Met”]

– –

Nagisa: “The Story of When Nagisa and Haruka First Met”

– –

[clubroom door opens]

Nagisa: [giggles] Sweet! Nobody else is here yet, Rei-chan! That means we’re the first in the clubroom today!

Rei: That aside, Nagisa-kun, I have a question for you.

Nagisa: What is it, Rei-chan? I’ll tell you anything you want to know about me! My birthday is August 1^st; my star sign is Leo; my favorite food is strawberry shortcake; and my least favorite things are math, bell peppers, and onions!

Rei: No, it’s nothing of the sort—

Nagisa: I eat the things I like first!

Rei: As I was saying, it’s nothing of the sort. It’s about Haruka-senpai.

Nagisa: Eh? About Haru-chan?

[clubroom door opens]

Haruka: What about me?

Rei: Oh, Haruka-senpai! I was just going to ask about your relationship with Nagisa-kun.

Haruka: Our “relationship”?

Nagisa: Hmm… What do you want to know? Maybe how we swam in the relay together at the Iwatobi Swimming Club during elementary school?

Rei: I’ve already heard stories about your time there. What I don’t understand is why Nagisa-kun is so emotionally attached to Haruka-senpai.

Haruka: “Emotionally attached”…?

Rei: Exactly. Your and Makoto-senpai’s houses are very close to each other, and you’re childhood friends, so you’ve been on good terms for a long time now. But what about Nagisa-kun…?

Makoto: Oh! Now that you mention it, I guess you’re right.

Gou: I want to know, too!

Nagisa: Wha—? Mako-chan, Gou-chan—when’d you guys get here?

Makoto: Just now. If memory serves, Nagisa joined the swimming club after we did, right?

Gou: And didn’t you go to different elementary schools?

Makoto: Rin joined the swimming club later than we did, too, but the reason he was so fixated on Haru was because he saw Haru as his rival.

Rei: Mnn… But Nagisa-kun and Haruka-senpai don’t seem like rivals, either, so…

Nagisa: Hmm. In that case, maybe I should tell you guys the story! I’ve never told this to anyone before—the heartwarming story of when Haru-chan and I first met!

Gou: Did something incredible happen?!

Nagisa: [giggles] Pretty much.

Haruka: When we first met…? What do you mean?

Makoto: You don’t remember, Haru?

Nagisa: Whaaat? That’s a little cruel, don’t you think?

Haruka: I have no idea. Don’t waste time talking about stuff like that. Hurry up and get changed. [starts undressing]

Rei: Ack—! Haruka-senpai! You shouldn’t do that in front of a girl, even if she’s wearing borrowed hakama—!

Gou: Hey, what do you mean, “borrowed”?! Waah! I shouldn’t look!

Makoto: Hey, Haru! You were wearing your swimsuit under your uniform again?!

Gou: [sparkles] Oh, my! What wonderful triceps!

[Haruka sprints out of the locker room and dives into the pool]

Makoto: And there he goes…

Nagisa: That’s so mean, Haru-chan. How can you say you don’t remember? Not when you went so far as doing that for me!

Gou: What exactly did he do?!

Rei: Please tell us, Nagisa-kun.

Nagisa: Yeah, okay. Oh, but there’s no fun in just reciting the story, so how about we do it in quiz format? You guys can try and guess what it is! I’ll give this muscle-version Iwatobi-chan to the one who gets it right!

Rei: I don’t want it.

Gou: I kinda do!

Rei: What?! You want it?

Nagisa: Alright, first, let’s give it a shot without any hints!

Gou, Makoto, and Rei: Hmmm…

Gou: Triceps!

Makoto: I knew you’d say that!

Nagisa: Wrong! This was back in elementary school, you know! We hadn’t built that much muscle yet.

Gou: Then what about elementary school students’ virgin triceps?!

Rei: I don’t follow you.

Makoto: You saw how beautifully Haru swims?

Nagisa: Wrong! That’s part of it, but there’s more to it.

Rei: He gave you mackerel…or something?

Nagisa: Wrong. I’m not that fond of mackerel.

Makoto: Maybe he taught you how to swim?

Nagisa: Wrong! Haru-chan wouldn’t teach me very often.

Gou: I know! He gave you a penguin!

Rei: Wha—?! A live one?

Makoto: Now there’s an original idea.

Nagisa: I’d like one, but that’s not it, either.

Gou: Then…

Rei: Um…

Makoto: Hmm…

Nagisa: I guess it’s impossible to get it right without any hints. Alright, now presenting your first hint: I have three older sisters!

Rei: Oh? You do?

Makoto: Is that really a hint?

Gou: [gasps] Don’t tell me…your sisters fell in love with Haruka-senpai’s triceps, too—?!

Rei: Can’t you talk about anything but muscles?

Makoto: What does that have to do with how Nagisa and Haru first met?

Gou: Upon seeing Haruka-senpai’s muscles, Nagisa-kun’s sisters told him, “You need to become friends with those muscles, so you’re going to join that swimming club!”

Rei: What does that even mean?

Nagisa: My sisters don’t know Haru-chan, and they don’t have a muscle fetish.

Makoto: Thinking about this logically, since you only have female siblings, maybe you looked up to Haru because he’s a year older?

Rei: I see… Finally, a serious answer.

Nagisa: Wrong! Another miss. The reason we met isn’t so commonplace. Try to think of an event that packs a lot more punch!

Gou: As elementary school students, the development of your trapezius muscles came as a shock, maybe?

Rei: Please stop with the muscles.

Nagisa: Hm. Alright, time for your second hint: a girl’s swimsuit!

Gou, Makoto, and Rei: …huh?!

Rei: A “girl’s swimsuit”, you said…?

Makoto: What on earth does that…?

Gou: Could the answer be something really extreme…?

Nagisa: “Extreme”?

Gou: Don’t tell me Haruka-senpai was a swimsuit thief…

Makoto: Haru wouldn’t do that!!

Rei: Okay, then maybe you got caught while stealing a swimsuit, and Haruka-senpai saved you?

Nagisa: Hey, I wouldn’t steal swimsuits, either!

Makoto: One of Nagisa’s sisters’ swimsuits got carried off by a wave, and Haru risked his life to go get it!

Rei: But if that were the case, Nagisa-kun’s sister would be the one who started to like Haruka-senpai.

Nagisa: Listen, my sisters don’t know Haru-chan! I already said that! Okay, time for your third hint: Despite how I am now, I was a crybaby and a weakling back then!

Rei: Ha ha ha. What an amusing joke.

Nagisa: But it’s not a joke! I need you to believe me before we can go any further!

Gou, Makoto, and Rei: Hmmm…

Nagisa: It’s taking you that long to believe me?!

Gou, Makoto, and Rei: Hmmm…

Rei: I’ve got it. I’ve solved the entire mystery. Let’s review our clues: Nagisa-kun has three sisters. A girl’s swimsuit. Nagisa-kun used to be a crybaby. There is only one logical conclusion that can be drawn from these clues!

Gou, Makoto, and Nagisa: …?!

Rei: Nagisa-kun tore his sister’s swimsuit, and he said something like, “Oh no—! What do I do?! My sister’s going to yell at me—!” And while he was crying, Haruka-senpai happened to pass by. He told Nagisa-kun, “Don’t cry, Nagisa. Just leave this to me,” and he stayed up all night to mend the swimsuit for him. That’s what happened, isn’t it?

Gou, Makoto, and Nagisa: Whaaaat?

Makoto: What part of that is a “logical conclusion”?! And that was an awful imitation of Nagisa…

Nagisa: Hmm… Yeah, but you’re close! That’s not correct, but you’re on the right track!

Gou: That was close?!

Nagisa: Yep! But still not quite right. Okay, I’m going to do you a huge favor! I’ll let you make one phone call to someone and ask for their opinion!

Rei: I see. I’ve seen them do something like this on quiz shows. This is what they call a “lifeline”.

Gou: I’ll try asking my brother! [dials Rin’s number] Hello? Onii-chan?

Rin: Hm? What is it, Gou?

Gou: Um, well, there’s something I want to ask you…

Rin: Yeah?

Gou: Do you know the reason why Haruka-senpai and Nagisa-kun get along so well?

Rin: Wha—?! Like hell I’d know! Don’t call me about crap like that! [hangs up]

Gou: He hung up on me…

Nagisa: Oh, well, I don’t think Rin knows, anyway.

Makoto: That’s it. I give up.

Rei: What on earth happened between you two?

Gou: Stop with the dramatics and just tell us already!

Nagisa: [laughs] Alright, I’ll tell you. When I was in first and second grade, people bullied me all the time on account of my name.

– –

[flashback]

Kid #1: Hey! Stay away from me!

Nagisa: No, you’re wrong! I’m a boy!

Kid #1: Then why d’ya have a girly-sounding name like “Nagisa”?

Kid #2: I saw ya wearin’ a skirt the other day!

Nagisa: But that’s ‘cause…my sisters forced me to… [starts crying]

Kid #1: Haha—! Nagisa’s crying again!

Kid #2: Yep, he’s just a crybaby girl!

[kids laugh while Nagisa cries; end flashback]

– –

Nagisa: After that, my dad told me I needed to get stronger, so I joined the swimming school. And that’s where I met Haru-chan…

– –

[flashback; sound of a locker opening]

Nagisa: Um, I just joined today. My name is Hazuki Nagisa. I hope we can get along.

Haruka: I’m Nanase…Haruka.

Nagisa: Wah! Nanase-kun, your first name is “Haruka”?! You’ve got a girly-sounding name, just like me!

Haruka: …!

Nagisa: Er, I’m sorry.

Haruka: You don’t have to apologize.

Nagisa: Um, you know, people bully me all the time because of my name. My sisters even make me wear girls’ clothes and put on makeup…!

Haruka: Whatever, just hurry up and get changed.

Nagisa: Erk—! I’m sorry.

Haruka: You don’t have to apologize for every little thing.

Nagisa: [unzips his bag] …hm? Uwaaaah—!

Haruka: What’s wrong?

Nagisa: My swimsuit… There’s a girl’s swimsuit in my bag… This is my sister’s…! [starts crying] That’s so mean! I know they did it on purpose! I can’t swim like this! I hate swimming…!

Haruka: You’d really start to hate swimming…over something like this?

Nagisa: Yeah…

Haruka: If you don’t like that swimsuit, you can just wear mine.

Nagisa: But what about you, Nanase-kun…?

Haruka: I’ll wear this instead. [picks up the swimsuit]

Nagisa: What?!

Haruka: When you’re in the water, it doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman. It doesn’t matter what swimsuit you wear. If I can swim… If I can feel the water… Then that’s all I need.

[end flashback]

– –

Rei: …! Haruka-senpai…wore a girl’s swimsuit?!

Makoto: I had no idea…! I wonder if…I was absent that day…

Gou: Yeah, I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around that.

Rei: The truth definitely packs a punch.

Nagisa: Everybody around him was surprised, and I was really surprised, but Haru-chan wasn’t embarrassed at all. He wore that swimsuit with pride. He was super cool! Once I saw him like that, I sort of stopped caring about everything that had been troubling me…

Makoto: Does that really count as being…“cool”…?

Nagisa: Yeah, of course it does! While wearing that swimsuit, he showed me just how beautifully he can swim, and that’s when I thought, “I want to be strong like him! I want to know how it feels to be free when I swim!”

Gou, Makoto, and Rei: …uh-huh?

Rei: That certainly was…an unusual story, but I think I understand…the way you feel.

Nagisa: Right?

Gou: I don’t think I understand.

Makoto: [laughs]

[sound of water dripping]

Haruka: You guys are still talking?

Rei: Haruka-senpai…!

Gou: No, I can’t…! I keep imagining what we just talked about!

Haruka: What might that be?

Makoto: Oh, it’s nothing, Haru! Alright, we should get to practice, too. Hurry and get changed.

Nagisa: Yep, that’s right! [unzips his bag] …huh? Uwaaaaah—!

Rei: What’s the matter, Nagisa-kun?

Nagisa: …! This…is my sister’s swimsuit…!

Makoto: This again?!

Nagisa: They did it on purpose! I know it was on purpose! I’m in high school now, but they’re still pulling pranks on me…! That’s so mean!

Haruka: You can borrow mine.

Nagisa: Haru-chan…

Rei: Haruka-senpai!

Makoto: Wait, then what about you, Haru?

Rei: You can’t do that! That’s a very, very bad idea!

Gou: But I kinda want to see it…! But I’m scared! But I want to see it! Waaah! I can’t make up my mind! What on earth should I do—?!

Haruka: What’re you talking about? I have a spare one with me, so you can just borrow that one.

Gou, Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei: …huh?

– –

[Haru dives into the pool]

Nagisa: Thank you, Haru-chan!

Haruka: Well, I don’t want to hear anything about you hating swimming.

Nagisa: …?! …ah! So you do remember, Haru-chan! [hugs Haruka]

Haruka: Cut it out, Nagisa! Don’t hug me! Look out! …gah!

[Haruka and Nagisa fall into the pool]

Nagisa: [giggles] I love you, Haru-chan—!

– – –

[Track 7: “The Samezuka Academy Cultural Festival: The Tradition of the Maid Café from Hell”]

– –

Nitori: “The Samezuka Academy Cultural Festival: The Tradition of the Maid Café from Hell”]

– –

[whistle blows]

Mikoshiba: Gather ‘round!

[swim club members assemble around Mikoshiba]

Mikoshiba: As I’m sure you’re aware, the cultural festival is right around the corner! And our swim club’s going to participate again this year!

Rin: What, we have to run an exhibition or a food stall or something?

Nitori: Matsuoka-senpai, you haven’t heard yet? About the Samezuka swim club’s traditional attraction.

Rin: Hmm? Nitori, what’s that? … Nuh-uh, no way!

Nitori: Matsuoka-senpai! I don’t particularly want to do it either, but we don’t have a choice! Please hurry up and change into this!

Rin: I told ya, I don’t wanna! Why is the swim club’s “traditional attraction” a maid café, of all things?!

Nitori: Senpai, you’re a beautiful person, so I know you’ll look great in this maid outfit.

Rin: Am I supposed to be happy about that?! And you seriously expect me to wear something so damn frilly?!

Nitori: But the swim club has upheld this tradition for generations! There’s nothing we can do about it!

Rin: I wanna slug the alumni who came up with this shitty idea.

Nitori: Participation in the maid café is mandatory for all club members! If you don’t participate, you’ll be forced to quit the club! Please just accept it.

Rin: Then I quit.

[Nitori grabs Rin; struggling ensues]

Nitori: Senpai—! I’m begging you! Don’t say that!

Rin: [struggling] Nitori…! Let go of me…!

Nitori: Okay, just for the morning! You can wear it just for the morning, so please reconsider, senpai—!

Rin: Nitori…! Let me go…!

Nitori: You’ve come so far…! Are you really willing to give up…and over something so silly…? Don’t you want to make it to the Olympics, senpai?!

Rin: [gasps] Alright, fine. Just for the morning… Got it?!

Nitori: Yeah!

– –

[crowd chatter; sounds of fabric rustling]

Rin: Shit… Why the heck am I wearing this…?

Nitori: Now, now, senpai!

Mikoshiba: Oh, Matsuoka—! Ya look stunning in that maid outfit—

Rin: That’s the last thing I want to hear! And Captain Mikoshiba, why are you wearing a butler outfit?! You’re not crossdressing?! Isn’t that the tradition?!

Mikoshiba: Third years are butlers. First years and second years crossdress. That’s the tradition!

Rin: Dammit…!

Mikoshiba: Hm? Nitori, you’ve got a small build, so that outfit looks great on you.

Nitori: …! How can you say that? There’s someone here who looks much lovelier than I do! Don’t you agree?

Mikoshiba: Yep, I hear ya! Matsuoka’s like the Mt. Everest of men in maid outfits!

Nitori: I’m glad we’re on the same page.

Rin: Nitori, keep your trap shut!

Nitori: Senpai, you have a beautiful face, and that snow-white headdress perfectly complements your long hair!

Rin: Niiitooriii…

Nitori: Your arm and shoulder muscles are well developed from swimming, but the sleeves of that maid outfit are so plump and full that they’re hidden very well.

Rin: Shut the hell up…!

Nitori: And your toned legs look downright gorgeous peeking out from beneath those petticoats!

Rin: Shut up already, Nitori!

Mikoshiba: Nitori…you sure know your stuff!

Nitori: I do! I researched all of this yesterday, just in case senpai needed to ask me any questions!

Rin: What a waste of brain cells!

Nitori: Um…Matsuoka…s-senpai…

Rin: …! What?!

Nitori: Can I take just one photo?

[Rin grabs Nitori]

Nitori: Ouch—! Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Rin: Do you understand the hell I’m going through?

Nitori: Senpai—! M-m-my head…! You’re crushing my head…!

Rin: [grumbling]

Nitori: Senpai—! Is this your tsundere maid impression?! Geh—!

Mikoshiba: Oh, that reminds me…I saw Gou-kun a little while ago!

Rin: What the—?! But I didn’t tell her about the cultural festival!

Nitori: Uh, eh, senpai, look at that—

Rin: What the hell, Nitori?! What’s so special about that poster for the festival?

Nitori: Erk—! Ack—! They put up posters advertising the festival…all over town!

Rin: Eh?! Why, you…!

Nitori: Um, senpai, are you alright…?

Rin: Shut it, you!

Nitori: Waah—!

Mikoshiba: Oh, speak of the devil! It’s Gou-kun!

Gou: [in the distance] Oh! Onii-chan!

Rin: Geh!

Gou: [rushes toward them] I stopped by to see— Onii-chan, that outfit…

Rin: …! Ah…

Gou: …is so pretty!

Nitori: Isn’t it?

Rin: Huh?

Gou: Even that maid outfit can’t disguise his toned pectorals!

Nitori: As expected of your little sister!

Mikoshiba: Hey there, Gou-kun! I’ll be on break in a few minutes, so why don’t you let me show you around— [continues in the background]

Rin: Gou! If you wait ten minutes, I guess I can give you the grand tour.

Gou: Hm? Okay! Got it!

Rin: Cool.

Mikoshiba: —and we can stop by a bunch of different places… Huh?

Nitori: [sighs; claps Mikoshiba on the shoulder] Captain Mikoshiba, don’t let it get you down.

– – –

[END]