「黒子のバスケ」DVD Vol. 6: オーディオドラマ 青峰編
Kuroko no Basuke DVD Vol. 6: Audio Drama Feat. Aomine Daiki
Aomine: Hot damn—! In a bikini?!
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[school chime; birds chirping]
Momoi: [reading from a notebook] “Hyuuga Junpei. Height: 178 centimeters. Weight: 68 kilos. Position: shooting guard. Clutch shooter. Likes: Sengoku warlords.” [flips page] “Izuki Shun. Height: 174 centimeters. Weight: 64 kilos. Position: point guard. Likes: making puns. But they’re corny.”
[door opens; Imayoshi enters]
Imayoshi: Oh, Momoi!
Momoi: Ah, Imayoshi-san!
Imayoshi: Hm? That notebook… By any chance, is that…?
Momoi: Yes. It’s data on Seirin.
Imayoshi: Putting the finishing touches on it?
Momoi: Yes, since our game with them is the day after tomorrow. I need to convey all this information to everyone at the final meeting tomorrow.
Imayoshi: We can always count on ya. The only problem is…him, ain’t it?
Momoi: “Him”? Are you referring to…Aomine-kun?
Imayoshi: Uh-huh. Think he’ll actually show at the meeting?
Momoi: [laughs] Don’t worry. I’ve already accounted for that.
Aomine: Kuroko no Basuke Special CD. Featuring Aomine Daiki.
[on the roof of the school]
Sakurai: Ahh, what beautiful weather! Doesn’t this feel wonderful, Aomine-san?
Aomine: Wait a sec… Hey, Ryou. What’re you doin’ here?
Sakurai: Uh—! [bowing] I’m so sorry! It felt so good, that I just—! I’m sorry for being so forward!
Aomine: Like I said, what the heck’re you doin’ here? I’m tryin’ to take a nap, and you’re in the way. Get out.
Sakurai: [bowing] I’m so sorry! I’m sorry I’m in the way! But…I can’t leave. I’m sorry.
Aomine: What’d you say?
Sakurai: Er—! M-Momoi-san t-told me to…
Momoi: Got it? I want you to stick to Aomine-kun like glue until tomorrow. And you will make sure he attends the meeting. Is that clear?
Aomine: Sheesh, there she goes again… Ryou, you can think for yourself, can’tcha? You’re annoying. Get out.
Sakurai: But if I leave, then Momoi-san will—
Aomine: If you don’t get out, I’ll get angry. [puts a hand on Sakurai’s shoulder] Satsuki or me? Who’s scarier?
Sakurai: ?! Eek! B-b-but still… O-oh! B-but look what I made for you!
Aomine: Huh? What’s that?
Sakurai: For lunch, dinner, and a late-night snack! It’s a three-meal bentou!
Sakurai: [unwrapping the bentou] Yes! Just like you asked me to, I decorated it to look like Horikita Mai-chan! [opens the lid of the bentou]
Aomine: Whoa—! Mai-chan! It really looks like her!
Sakurai: For lunch, you have a happy, smiling Mai-chan! [removes the top tier] For dinner, you have a slightly sad, teary-eyed Mai-chan! [removes the second tier] And for a late-night snack, you have Mai-chan looking a little sexy in a swimsuit!
Aomine: Hot damn—! In a bikini?!
Sakurai: I tried making the bikini out of pink fish flakes.
Aomine: …I’ll eat it.
Sakurai: Eh?! Starting with the swimsuit? But that’s for later tonight—
Sakurai: Um, yes! Here are your chopsticks.
Aomine: [trying to find the ideal napping position; sighs] …
Aomine: …urgh…ugh! …
Aomine: [suddenly sits up] …dammit!
Sakurai: Oh, good morning!
Aomine: Are you stupid?!
Aomine: Like I can sleep with you breathin’ down my neck!
Sakurai: Ahh, I’m sorry! [stands up] I’ll give you a little more space. [runs a short distance away; shouting] What about over here—?
Aomine: …for the love of…! [stands up and starts walking away]
Sakurai: [chasing after Aomine] Aomine-san! Where are you going? Wait for me, Aomine-saaan—!
Momoi: You “lost track” of Aomine-kun?!
Sakurai: I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m so useless! I’m sorry I’m dense as a rock! I’m not even fit to be a rock! More like a grain of sand!
Imayoshi: Weren’t you keepin’ an eye on him?
Sakurai: W-well, you see…Aomine-san kept moving from one place to another and taking naps. First it was the roof, then the art prep room, then the rear courtyard… At first, I thought he was just restless, but then I realized something.
Imayoshi: Yeah? What’s that?
Sakurai: Aomine-san always relocated to places that had plenty of sunlight and are quiet and warm—they were all ideal napping spots! Aomine-kun wasn’t just wandering aimlessly! Depending on the time and changes in the weather, at that time—at that very moment—he was unconsciously selecting the most comfortable locations based purely on natural instinct! Yes…truly phantasmagoric!
Imayoshi: So, while you were spinnin’ your wheels trying to process that heady bit of thinking, he ran off on ya.
Sakurai: Uh…I’m sorry…!
Imayoshi: But Momoi, do ya really need somebody keepin’ an eye on him 24/7?
Momoi: But if someone’s not watching him, then Aomine-kun will definitely be late to the meeting! Forget about being late, he might not even come! Anyway, I’m going to try calling him. [dials Aomine’s number; phone rings]
Momoi: He won’t pick up… [ends the call and slams the phone shut] Hmph… Ah! I wonder if… [opens the phone and dials another number; phone rings]
Kuroko: [picks up] Hello?
Momoi: Oh, Tetsu-kun? It’s me, Satsuki.
Kuroko: Momoi-san? What’s the matter?
Momoi: I was wondering…is Aomine-kun with you?
Kuroko: Aomine-kun? No, he’s not…
Momoi: Oh, alright… If you happen to see him, give me a call, okay?
Momoi: I’m counting on you! [laughs] I’m looking forward to our game the day after tomorrow.
Kuroko: So am I.
Momoi: Well, I am looking forward to the game, but I’m also looking forward to seeing you, Tetsu-kun. To be honest, I’d like to see you even if we weren’t playing a game… Oh! Say, Tetsu-kun, why don’t we go see a movie together sometime—?
Imayoshi: Shouldn’t we hurry up an’ look for Aomine?!
Momoi: [sighs] I wish I could’ve talked to Tetsu-kun a little while longer…
Imayoshi: So, it’s all well and good that we’re out lookin’ for him, but—
Sakurai: —where should we look? It might be hard to follow those phantasmagoric movements of his…
Momoi: Heh, just who do you think I am? Take a look at this! [pulls out a notebook]
Sakurai: What’s that notebook for?
Momoi: It’s my “Aomine Daiki Research Report”! Also known as the “AD Report”! I’ve been with Aomine-kun ever since we were kids, you know? Personality, hobbies, and activity patterns… Based on his past data, I can read him like a book! Including his future behavior!
Sakurai: Momoi-san, that’s incredible!
Imayoshi: More like scary!
Momoi: Here I go… Wait right there, Aomine-kun!
Aomine: [yawns] Ryou’s gone, so I can finally sleep in peace. Alrighty then… [flops down in the grass] Huh? W-what? It got chilly all of a sudden…! [stands up and walks away]
[Imayoshi, Momoi, and Sakurai rush onto the scene]
Imayoshi: Here? I don’t see him anywhere!
Momoi: That’s weird…! I’m certain he would have come this way…
Sakurai: A-ah! Momoi-san! This is my bentou box!
Imayoshi: Which means…he was here?
Sakurai: The smiley Mai-chan I made for his lunch…it’s already gone! But just a little while ago, he ate the sexy Mai-chan that was supposed to be his late-night snack…!
Momoi: It looks like he’s one step ahead of us. Now, where would he go next…? I’ve got it.
Aomine: [drinks from a bottle] What was that about? It got so cold out of the blue… [sets down the drink bottle] It’s so nice outside, though… Wait, what? It’s gettin’ cold again! Urgh, damn…! [stands up and walks away]
Momoi: He’s not here…! Again…!
Sakurai: Ahhh—! M-Momoi-san! It’s an empty bag of Happy Turn rice crackers!
Imayoshi: Oh! And there’s a half-empty bottle of banana milk over here!
Momoi: Happy Turn crackers and banana milk…? With that combination, there’s no doubt about it! Aomine-kun was here!
Imayoshi: No kiddin’? He likes banana milk? That’s kinda cute…
Momoi: He’s not here, either. That means…! [runs off]
Aomine: Ack! It got chilly again…
Sakurai: Momoi-san! It’s a GoriGori-kun wrapper!
Imayoshi: But the stick’s gone?
Aomine: Geh—! It’s freakin’ cold here, too…!
Sakurai: Momoi-san! I found another GoriGori-kun wrapper! Oh, and the stick!
Imayoshi: I get it. So he must’ve won a free one last time.
Aomine: Urk—! It’s the same, no matter where I go…! Why’s it so cold?!
Sakurai: Momoi-san! My bentou box! This was the teary-eyed Mai-chan for his dinner!
Imayoshi: He’s already eaten three meals’ worth?
Aomine: Shit…! So cold…!
[walking along a city sidewalk]
Momoi: [mumbling] He went to Shuuei Park, then Jinbo Square, then through the Touzai Building…which means his next stop will be…
Sakurai: Momoi-san, it’s really incredible that you’re able to predict Aomine-san’s movements like that, one after another.
Imayoshi: Goes to show just how accurate Momoi’s data is. She’s such a dependable manager, ain’t she?
Imayoshi: Nowadays, winning in sports means relyin’ on data. You need to understand your own abilities, as well as everything about your opponents’ abilities, and that all depends on the accumulation of information and how accurately you can analyze that information. In a nutshell, it means the competition starts before the game even begins.
Sakurai: That’s true… You’re right.
Imayoshi: Well, then ya get guys like Aomine, who can’t be measured by data. What’s unfolding before us now isn’t just a game of tag. Momoi’s data and Aomine’s instincts—it’s a battle between two polar-opposite abilities!
Momoi: [shouting in the background] No waaaay—!
[Imayoshi and Sakurai rush up to Momoi]
Sakurai: What’s the matter, Momoi-san?! …that’s…! That’s an empty takoyaki box!
Momoi: It’s still warm! He can’t have gone far. Next!
Imayoshi: Okay, so I take it all back.
[walking along a city sidewalk]
Aomine: [grumbling] What’s the deal today, anyway?! No matter where I go, I can’t relax! Huh? [pauses] A street basketball court? I didn’t know they had one here. [opens the gate and walks onto the court] Oh, there’s a ball. [picks up the basketball] Hm.
Imayoshi: Say, Momoi…
Momoi: What is it, Imayoshi-san?
Imayoshi: This is a bookstore, ain’t it? You sure Aomine would come to a bookstore?
Momoi: Today is the release date for the photobook featuring Aomine-kun’s beloved Horikita Mai. Aomine-kun always buys her books at this bookstore.
Sakurai: U-um, Momoi-san…
Momoi: According to the owner, he hasn’t stopped by yet today. Which means that…
Sakurai: U-um, excuse me…
Imayoshi: Got it. So if we hang around here, Aomine-kun might show, right?
Sakurai: E-excuse me!
Momoi: What is it?
Imayoshi: What’s with you, Sakurai?
Momoi: If you have something to say, then spit it out already.
Sakurai: I-I’m sorry! [bowing] I’m sorry I’m so slow! I’m sorry I’m slow as a turtle! But I wouldn’t be able to beat the rabbit in the race, so I’m sorry!
Imayoshi: You’re forgiven, okay? I forgive everything about you, so just say it!
Sakurai: …the truth is, when I gave Aomine-san his bentou this morning, he said he was over Horikita Mai-chan…
Sakurai: He said, “I’m over Horikita Mai-chan.” And then…
Aomine: Make the next one look like Shinozaki Aki-chan, ‘kay?
Momoi: Y-you mean he likes a different idol now…?
Imayoshi: Then there’s no point in waitin’ for him here!
Sakurai: I’m so sorry! [bows]
Momoi: No way… I don’t have that data! There’s no way that’s true! Who the heck is Shinozaki Aki-chan…?
Sakurai: Oh, this is her! I bought this magazine just now, to use for reference. [hands the magazine to Momoi]
Momoi: What the—?! She’s the complete opposite of Horikita Mai-chan! Aomine-kun has no taste!
Imayoshi: Well, that’s par for the course with teenage guys.
Momoi: I can’t believe it…! That I failed at gathering data…! No way! No waaaaay…!
Imayoshi: Looks like the win goes to Aomine, huh?
[Aomine playing streetball; shoots and makes a basket]
Aomine: A dog?! [walks toward Nigou] When’d you get here? Oh, he’s got a collar.
Aomine: Guess that means he’s somebody’s pet. Where’d you come from? What happened to your owner? Huh? Hey, quit staring at me like that. …and you’re still lookin’ at me. Your eyes kinda piss me off for some reason. Hm? Wait a sec, those eyes look sorta familiar… Urgh, but where have I seen ‘em before…? [starts dribbling the basketball]
Aomine: What? [starts dribbling again]
Aomine: Oh. So you were lookin’ at the ball? C’mon, now, don’t tell me you like basketball.
Aomine: [laughs] Sweet! A dog that likes basketball! Now this is interesting. Hey, whaddaya say? Wanna shoot some hoops?
Aomine: Heh. Alright, here goes!
[Aomine starts playing streetball with Nigou]
Aomine: What’s wrong, huh? C’mon, over here!
[basketball rolls away]
Aomine: [exhales] Heh, you’ve got some skills.
Aomine: Heh. There aren’t any people around who can let me have as much fun as you just did. [sighs] Every single one of ‘em’s a total scrub. It’s so boring.
Aomine: Yeah, your eyes look really familiar… But where have I seen ‘em before…? Where’ve I seen somebody with eyes like that…? [Aomine’s cell phone rings] Ah. [opens the cell phone] Ugh, it’s Satsuki? Get off my case already. [declines the call and shuts the phone] Oh, that’s right. We’re playin’ Tetsu the day after tomorrow. Guess I’ll head home. [stands up] See ya, dog! I had a blast. [walks away]
[on the streetball court]
Kuroko: Nigou, sorry to keep you waiting. Hm? What’s the matter?
Sakurai: So we weren’t able to find Aomine-san.
Momoi: It’s not over yet! We’ll start back at square one!
Imayoshi: So you say, but what’re ya planning to do?
Momoi: For starters, let’s head back to the clubroom and come up with a plan.
[clubroom door swings shut]
Aomine: Huh? Hey, Satsuki.
Sakurai: There he is—!
Momoi: Why are you in the clubroom?!
Aomine: What d’ya mean? I’m on the basketball team, you know.
Momoi: But you hardly ever come to the clubroom!
Aomine: Huh, that so? [sighs; starts rifling through his locker]
Momoi: There is nothing in my data to indicate that Aomine-kun would behave like this.
Imayoshi: “Truly phantasmagoric”, was it?
Aomine: [muttering] It ain’t here…! It’s gotta be around here somewhere…
Sakurai: Aomine-san, what are you doing?
Aomine: Oh, found it! Horikita Mai-chan’s photobook… Guess it was here all along.
Imayoshi: Didn’t ya say you were over Mai-chan?
Imayoshi: I thought you’d moved on to Shinozaki Aki-chan…
Sakurai: T-that’s right! You said you were over Horikita Mai-chan and that I should decorate the next bentou to look like Shinozaki Aki-chan!
Aomine: [laughs] Yeah, just for the bentou. I might as well try out a bunch of different girls, am I right? That reminds me—I haven’t been to pick up Mai-chan’s photobook yet. Guess I’d better stop by the bookstore on my way home.
Momoi: [menacingly] …Sakurai-kun…!
Sakurai: Eek! [bowing] I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry I’m alive…!
Imayoshi: Now, now, we found Aomine, didn’t we?
Momoi: That’s true… Oh, I need to give Tetsu-kun a call. [opens her phone and dials the number]
Aomine: Why Tetsu?
[phone rings; Kuroko picks up]
Momoi: Tetsu-kun? It’s me, Satsuki. I wanted to let you know that Aomine-kun…
Aomine: Satsuki, gimme that.
Momoi: Hey! Aomine-kun!
Aomine: [snatches the phone] Tetsu, you’re gonna show me a good time at the game the day after tomorrow, ain’t ya?
Kuroko: Aomine-kun… Yes. I’m definitely going to win…with everyone from Seirin.
Nigou: [barks in the background]
Aomine: Huh? Is that a dog?
Kuroko: What about him?
Aomine: Er, oh, it’s nothing. Here, Satsuki. Catch. [tosses the phone to Momoi]
Momoi: Ack—! Sorry about that, Tetsu-kun. Okay, I’ll see you later. [ends the call]
Aomine: [yawns] Alrighty then… [starts to leave the clubroom]
Momoi: Wait, Aomine-kun—! S-Sakurai-kun, after him!
Sakurai: Roger! [chases after Aomine]
Momoi: And don’t let him out of your sight this time—!
Imayoshi: When all was said and done, Momoi’s plan failed, and Aomine was late to the meeting.
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