「黒子のバスケ」DVD Vol. 2: オーディオドラマ 黄瀬編
Kuroko no Basuke DVD Vol. 2: Audio Drama Feat. Kise Ryouta
火神大我 (小野友樹), 笠松幸男 (保志総一朗),
黄瀬涼太 (木村良平), & 黒子テツヤ (小野賢章)
Kagami Taiga (Ono Yuuki), Kasamatsu Yukio (Hoshi Souichirou),
Kise Ryouta (Kimura Ryouhei), & Kuroko Tetsuya (Ono Kenshou)
Kuroko: “The fact that Kise-kun fell for such a textbook move makes me worry about his future.”
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[Title: “Kurokocchi—! Why do you keep running away—?!”]
Kise: It’s been a while since I’ve been to Shibuya. It’s way too crowded here. Oh, Nanbu Department Store? While I’m here, I might as well stop and buy some clothes or something…
Kise: Ah? Captain!
Kasamatsu: What are you doing here?
Kise: Same to you, Captain!
Kasamatsu: I had to set up our practice match for next Sunday.
Kise: No way…with Seirin?
Kasamatsu: We played a game with them just the other day, remember? So, what about you? At your modeling job again?
Kise: Yep! At Shuueisha in Jinbou-chou.
Kasamatsu: That so. Well, don’t overdo it.
Kise: Roger that! …what’s that in your hand?
Kasamatsu: Oh. It’s a pack of tissues I got from around the corner. (1)
Kise: You were handing out tissues, senpai?!
Kasamatsu: Why would I come all the way to Shibuya just to hand out tissues, you idiot?! [whacks Kise]
Kise: [pained noises]
Kasamatsu: It’s advertising for this department store. See, it’s for the sports department on the tenth floor.
Kise: Hm? [reads the ad on the tissues] Ohh…“limited edition basketball shoes 80 percent off”?! We can’t pass this up!
Kasamatsu: I know, right?
Kise: As expected of my captain! C’mon, let’s go! Let’s go!
Kasamatsu: Hey, don’t push me!
Kise: Kuroko no Basuke: Special CD. Featuring Kise Ryouta.
[inside the department store]
Kagami: This place is huge! What floor is the sports department?
Kuroko: Kagami-kun, you came here to buy basketball shoes, didn’t you?
Kagami: Yeah, my old ones are falling apart.
Kuroko: So why did I have to come with you?
Kagami: ‘Cause there are way too many different kinds to choose from, and I wouldn’t know which ones to get! Let’s see…looks like the sports department is on the tenth floor. Hey, Kuroko! Don’t wander off like you usually do. I’d never be able to find you in this crowd. Wait, he’s gone already! He was here just a second ago!
Kasamatsu: What’s up?
Kise: Look over there. Isn’t that Kurokocchi? The one wandering around by that cosmetics display.
Kasamatsu: Eh? I have no idea.
Kise: Yep, that’s Kurokocchi! [runs toward Kuroko] Hey~!
Kuroko: Oh, Kise-kun.
Kise: Hey there! Fancy meeting you here!
Kuroko: It’s been a while.
Kise: What do you mean? We saw each other a few days ago for the practice game!
Kuroko: Kasamatsu-san! Thanks again for the other day.
Kise: Why are you so much happier to see him than me?
Kuroko: What brings you here?
Kasamatsu: Oh, just some errands.
Kise: What are you doing in the cosmetics department? Ah—! Could it be…?
Kise: You’re buying a present for your girlfriend!
Kuroko: I don’t have a girlfriend. It’s just…Kagami-kun got lost somewhere.
Kagami: [from a distance] Ahh, I finally found ya! Don’t disappear on me like that!
Kuroko: You were the one who disappeared, Kagami-kun.
Kagami: As if! Wait, Kise?! And Kaijou’s captain? What’re you doing here?
Kise: Kagamicchi, did somebody wander off on his own~?
Kagami: Like hell I did! And quit callin’ me “Kagamicchi”!
Kuroko: It’s his way of acknowledging you.
Kagami: But I don’t like it!
Kise: Moving on—are you guys off from practice today?
Kuroko: Yes. We came to do a little shopping. Well, Kagami-kun did.
Kagami: Since we’re here and all, you should buy some, too.
Kuroko: That’s a good point. I’ll make up my mind after we look around.
Kasamatsu: Are you here to buy basketball shoes, too?
Kasamatsu: In that case, we can’t let you get ahead of us…to buy the limited editions.
Kise: Oh, I see. You’re raring to go, aren’t you? Heheh.
Kagami: W-what d’you mean?
Kuroko: You’re creeping me out.
Kise: You haven’t forgotten, have you?
Kuroko: Forgotten what?
Kise: You know, that thing we talked about the other day. I’m sure you remember.
Kuroko: What do you mean by that?
Kagami: ?! Kuroko, we’re gonna run for it!
Kagami: C’mon, let’s go! [grabs Kuroko]
Kuroko: ?! That hurts! Please let go of me, Kagami-kun!
Kagami: Get a move on!
[Kuroko and Kagami make a run for it]
Kasamatsu: What’s that about?
Kise: Why are you running away? Wait up—! [takes off after Kagami and Kuroko]
Kasamatsu: Hey, Kise! …and there he goes. Geez, what’s going on? [yells after Kise] I’m going on without you, got it?!
Kagami: Hurry up, Kuroko!
Kuroko: What’s gotten into you, Kagami-kun?
Kagami: We’re going upstairs!
Kise: Kurokocchi! Wait!
Kagami: Look, here he comes! Let’s use the escalator!
Kuroko: But this is the down escalator. Are you planning to use it backwards?
Kagami: It doesn’t matter! Put your back into it! [runs up the down escalator with Kuroko] Oryaaaa!
Kise: Wait, seriously?! Do you really want to run away from me that badly? Kurokocchi~!
Kagami: [panting] I think we finally lost them.
Kuroko: Kagami-kun, can you please explain what’s going on?
Kagami: There’d be hell to pay if one of those guys from Kaijou caught up with us.
Kise: [from a distance] Kurokocchi! Why do you keep running away?
Kagami: What?! Why’s he still chasing us?
Kuroko: Because you were willing to do something crazy like run up the escalator in reverse.
Kagami: Then let’s use the elevator!
Kuroko: I’d rather not. I’m exhausted.
Kagami: It’s not up for debate! This is partly your fault, you know!
Kuroko: Why is that?
Kagami: Forget it! Just come on already!
[Kagami and Kuroko take off again]
Kise: I won’t let you get away! I’ve been going running every day since our game! [chases after them]
Kise: The doors are closing! Wait! [slams into the closed elevator doors] Aaah, just missed them. They’re heading up… I get it now. They’re trying to buy the limited edition shoes before the captain and I do. Well, we can’t have that! I’ll take the stairs to the tenth floor and cut them off! Oooooh—! [runs for the stairwell]
Kagami: Is he gone?
Kagami: Yes! We really gave him the slip.
Kuroko: The fact that Kise-kun fell for such a textbook move makes me worry about his future.
Kagami: Yeah, pretty much.
Kuroko: Would you care to explain what’s going on? It’s not like you to keep running from a problem like this.
Kagami: Well, it’s about what happened at the practice game.
Kagami: I slam dunked the ball and wrecked the goal, remember?
Kuroko: Oh…yeah. You were pissed when they told us we could only use half the court for our game.
Kagami: You were the one egging me on!
Kuroko: And then…?
Kagami: Then their coach completely snapped. He was furious. Captain told me he demanded that we compensate them for the damage.
Kuroko: I wonder how much that would cost.
Kagami: 500,000 yen. (2)
Kuroko: That’s quite the number.
Kagami: There’s no way I could afford to pay that. I mean, I’m just a high schooler. Their coach’s just ticked that they lost.
Kuroko: But, Kagami-kun, you’re always buying mountains of hamburgers and such, so you must be pretty rich.
Kagami: I ain’t rich! And that’s totally beside the point.
Kuroko: Is that so…
Kagami: Anyway, we can’t let them catch us. Got it? That goes for you, too. You’re guilty by association.
Kuroko: That’s…a problem.
Kasamatsu: Hey, Kise!
Kasamatsu: Get over here! The shoes are gonna be sold out!
Kise: Have you seen Kurokocchi?
Kise: That’s weird. Weren’t they trying to buy the limited edition?
Kasamatsu: It seems like they didn’t know about the bargain sale.
Kise: Ehh? But that doesn’t make any sense! Kagamicchi’s one thing, but why do I have to avoided by Kurokocchi? I’m gonna cry!
Kasamatsu: And I couldn’t care less!
Kise: When things get rough, you have to persevere! Captain, lend me a hand!
Kasamatsu: Huh? Why me?
Kise: ‘Cause they might be keeping some incredible secret from us! It’s definitely something shady! Come on, let’s go! [runs off]
Kasamatsu: [sighs] Is everybody in the Generation of Miracles like this? Guess there’s nothing else for it. [takes off after Kise]
Kagami: Oh? These jeans are pretty slick. Wait, now’s not the time for that.
Kuroko: I was thinking…
Kagami: About what?
Kuroko: What if we just left? Kise-kun and Kasamatsu-san live in Kanagawa, so they’ll head home eventually.
Kagami: Did you forget why we came here in the first place?
Kuroko: I didn’t need anything to begin with, so…
Kagami: You bastard—! You’re gonna play that card after all we’ve been through?
Kise: [from a distance] You can’t run forever!
Kuroko: Here he comes. And he brought Kasamatsu-san with him.
Kagami: They just don’t know when to give up, do they?
Kuroko: Why is he after me? Kagami-kun is the one who’s running away.
Kagami: I told ya, you’re guilty by association!
Kuroko: Hmm… Alright, I have a plan.
Kagami: Oh? What is it?
Kuroko: The best place to hide a tree is in a forest.
Kise: That’s so weird. They should be somewhere around here… Where on earth are they hiding?
Kasamatsu: There shouldn’t be anywhere for a huge guy like Kagami to hide. Kuroko’s a different story, though.
Kise: What’s up with that giant mannequin in the men’s department? It’s got a really tense-looking face for a mannequin, and I feel like I’ve seen it somewhere before. Plus, it has red hair… Well, I guess it’s just my imagination. Let’s keep moving, Captain.
Kasamatsu: Are you blind?! That’s obviously Kagami!
Kise: Whoa, no kidding!
Kagami: Shit! It didn’t work, Kuroko!
Kise: Kurokocchi’s gotta be nearby! Where is he?
Kagami: Over there.
Kise: Eh? No, he’s not—! [Kagami makes a run for it] —hey, wait!
Kagami: Hey, stuuupid! Catch me if you can!
Kise: That’s the last straw! Wait for me, damn it! [chases after Kagami]
Kasamatsu: Get a hold of yourself, Kise! And where the heck did Kuroko go? Well, finding him would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Probably. [runs after Kagami and Kise]
Kuroko: I…was right here the whole time…
Kagami: [panting] I’m totally worn out.
Kagami: Whoa—! Quit sneaking up behind me!
Kuroko: I’ve been right behind you all along.
Kagami: Damn it… Man, they’re such a pain in the neck. They’re as bad as you are when it comes to never giving up.
Kuroko: I’m flattered.
Kagami: That wasn’t a compliment!
Kuroko: But what do we do now? The plan we used just now probably won’t work a second time.
Kagami: It didn’t even work the first time!
Kuroko: At any rate, they’re going to catch us sooner or later unless we come up with another plan.
Kagami: We’ve got to think of something…
Kise: [from a distance] Found you—!
[Kagami and Kuroko start running]
Kuroko: Kagami-kun! This leads to the women’s lingerie department!
Kagami: I know that! But we’ve got to shake them off somehow!
Female shopper: Aaaaah! Pervert!
Kise: What’re they thinking?! Guess I don’t have a choice. Here I go—!
Female shopper: Aaaaah! He’s so dreamy!
Kagami: Um, excuse me, those two screams sounded completely different! And Kuroko’s gone missing again!
Kise: Wait up!
Kasamatsu: How long are you guys planning to keep this up?! What about the limited edition?
Kuroko: I told you…I’m right here…
Kagami: [panting] I can’t take any more… This is worse than the sprints we ran yesterday. And where am I? The outdoor department?! All I wanted was to buy a pair of basketball shoes…
Kuroko: [muffled] Kagami-kun.
Kuroko: [muffled] Kagami-kun, in here.
Kagami: What? Eh? Where are you?
[sound of a zipper unzipping]
Kuroko: Right here.
Kagami: In a tent?!
Kuroko: We should be safe in here. Let’s come up with a plan.
Kagami: Desperate times, I guess. [gets into the tent and zips it up] Hey, it’s pretty cramped in here.
Kuroko: It’s because you’re so tall, Kagami-kun. Bear with it, please.
Kagami: Damn it. So, what’re we gonna do?
Kuroko: Shhh! Here they come.
[sound of footsteps approaching]
Kise: That’s so strange! My intuition tells me they should be somewhere around here…
Kasamatsu: What kind of intuition is that?
Kagami: This is bad! They’re gonna find us! They’re gonna make me pay 500,000 yen!
Kuroko: Calm down! They can’t see us from the outside.
Kise: Kurokocchi and Kagamicchi are so heartless…
Kasamatsu: Haven’t you had enough? They obviously hate you.
Kise: Don’t be so blunt about it! That cuts deep, you know?
Kasamatsu: Wait, weren’t you saying something to them earlier?
Kise: Eh? Hmm… What did I say…? Oh, that’s right, I said, “You haven’t forgotten what we talked about the other day, have you?”
Kasamatsu: I don’t know why, but right after you said that, Kagami’s face blanched and they took off.
Kise: Is that right?
Kasamatsu: What did you mean when you said that?
Kise: That I haven’t forgotten about getting my revenge!
Kasamatsu: Oh…! I wonder if…
Kasamatsu: Remember at the practice game, when the coach snapped and told them to pay for the broken hoop?
Kise: Yes, I do.
Kasamatsu: I think Kagami might have misunderstood what you said and thought you were talking about making him pay for the hoop.
Kise: Eh?! That’s the problem?!
Kasamatsu: We already spoke to the principal of their school and settled everything. For starters, we’re partly to blame for continuing to use a piece of old, worn-out equipment. In fact, we should be grateful that he broke it before there was an serious accident. I guess their coach didn’t tell him what happened.
Kise: No way~! That’s the reason they’ve been running away from me?!
Kagami: So that’s what happened… Wait, why’re you looking at me like that, Kuroko?
Kuroko: No reason.
Kagami: Don’t look at me like that! This solves everything, doesn’t it?
Kuroko: …it’s nothing.
Kasamatsu: Well, next time we run into them, we can just explain what happened. But more importantly, if we don’t hurry—
[sound of a chime on the department store’s PA system]
Announcer: I have an announcement for our customers. As a result of your patronage, the special sale on sports shoes in the sports department on the tenth floor has sold out and will now come to an end.
Kasamatsu: We missed our chance! And it’s all your fault! Eat this! Dropkiiick!
[Kasamatsu dropkicks Kise, who collides with Kagami and Kuroko’s tent]
Kise: Ouch—! Ahh, I think I just heard a voice… [rustling the tent] Wait, what? There’s somebody inside the tent!
Kagami: Ow… What d’you think you’re doing?! That hurt, damn it!
Kuroko: Kagami-kun, please get out of the tent. You’re blocking the door.
Kagami: Shut up!
Kise: Kurokocchi and Kagamicchi?!
Kasamatsu: That’s where you were hiding?
Kagami: Don’t make it sound like we were hiding from you. Listen, Kise. We haven’t been running away, got it? We just thought the basketball shoes would sell out if we didn’t hurry.
Kise: Eh? So that’s what this was about after all?
Kuroko: No, that’s not it. Kagami-kun thought you were going to make him pay for the broken hoop, so we’ve been running away from you.
Kagami: ?! Hey, Kuroko, you bastard!
Kise: Really? But there’s no way I’d say something like that! I’ve been crying because I thought you hated me! And now I’m tearing up again because I’m so relieved…
Kagami: Heh. That’s so lame.
Kuroko: I’m sorry about that, Kise-kun. I kind of got dragged along for the ride.
Kise: That’s a lie, and you know it! You were totally serious. I mean, you kept disappearing right after we managed to find you.
Kagami: That’s his special skill, after all.
Kasamatsu: That’s true. It gave us a lot of trouble during the game.
Kuroko: Thank you for saying so.
Kise: Say, Kurokocchi.
Kuroko: What is it?
Kise: I’m gonna do it.
Kuroko: Going to do what?
Kise: Basketball, of course.
Kise: Our defeat the other day was a rude awakening for me. Up until now, I’ve been able to coast along without having to put in any real effort. I had never lost before, after all.
Kise: As far as basketball goes, I don’t want to lose to anyone ever again. So I’m going to practice harder and get my revenge on you, Kurokocchi.
Kagami: What about me?
Kuroko: I couldn’t ask for more, Kise-kun.
Kise: Got it!
Kasamatsu: We managed to clear up the misunderstanding, so I guess all’s well that ends well. Even though none of us were able to buy basketball shoes.
Kasamatsu: Since we’re all here, why don’t we go grab some ramen or something?
Kagami: Oh! I second that!
Kise: Heheh. Let’s go, Kurokocchi!
Kuroko: I’d really like to, but…
Kuroko: Look. That collision did quite a number on the tent…
Kagami: It’s completely wrecked…
[sound of a whistle being blown]
Kuroko: And there’s a security guard coming this way.
Kagami: Don’t tell me it’s about…
Kasamatsu: …paying for the damages?!
Kagami: So I’m still not off the hook! I said I don’t have any money, damn it!
Kise: Oh nooo~!
[on a street corner outside the department store]
Kagami: Would you like some tissues…
Kasamatsu: We’re from Nanbu Department Store! Please take some tissues! Hey, why did I have to come all the way to Shibuya just to hand out packs of tissues, you moron?!
Kagami: This is all ‘cause you had to go and kick Kise.
Kasamatsu: How is this my fault?!
Kagami: Just watch where you’re aiming next time! …Sir.
Kasamatsu: What’s that supposed to mean? Anyway, just look at him hamming it up over there.
Kise: We’re having a bargain sale in the women’s clothing department! Here, take a pack of tissues!
Female pedestrian: Aaah! I’ll take another one, please!
Kagami: I think he might have found his true calling.
Kasamatsu: That’s for sure.
Kuroko: Have some tissues. Here, take some tissues. Excuse me, would you like some tissues? Take some, please… What should I do? No one notices me…
Kagami: How can you be that useless?!
Kuroko: I’m doing my best.
Kagami: We can’t go home unless we finish the job!
Kuroko: I could have gone home a long time ago. Besides, none of this would have happened if you hadn’t jumped to the wrong conclusion, Kagami-kun.
Kagami: Don’t say that! Don’t remind me—!
Kise: [laughing] Kurokocchi! Looks like I’ll be taking this round.
Kasamatsu: Get your revenge somewhere else!
Kise: Take some tissues! Thank you! Oh, you’re back again, Miss? Thank you~! Have some tissues!
(1) In Japan, businesses have their workers pass out small, branded packs of tissues as a form of advertising (more info here). When I lived in Japan, I was ambushed with packs of tissues almost every morning after exiting the subway on the way to my university. But, hey, free tissues are free tissues.
(2) About US $4,750. Kagami never does anything by halves.
Here’s an mp3 of my favorite line from the drama, namely Kagami taunting Kise. Makes me laugh every time. 😄
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