[translation] “Kuroko no Basuke” DVD Vol. 4 Audio Drama Feat. Midorima Shintarou

As per request, here’s the translation of the audio drama from DVD Vol. 4. I can’t even tell you how many times I cracked up while translating this. The seiyuu really knocked this one out of the park (although perhaps a basketball metaphor would be more appropriate in this context…). If you have time, make sure you listen to the cast comment track, as well. It’s hilarious.

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「黒子のバスケ」DVD Vol. 4: オーディオドラマ 緑間編
“Kuroko no Basuke” DVD Vol. 4: Audio Drama Feat. Midorima Shintarou

緑間真太郎 (小野大輔), 高尾和成 (鈴木達央), & 黒子テツヤ (小野賢章)
Midorima Shintarou (Ono Daisuke), Takao Kazunari (Suzuki Tatsuhisa), & Kuroko Tetsuya (Ono Kenshou)

Midorima: “I’m going to go ask if they’ll let me exchange these goats for an old man!”

– – –

Translation:

[Takao pedaling the bike; brakes squeal; Takao stops in front of Midorima’s house]

Takao: Shin-chan~!

Midorima: Don’t come near me.

T: What’s the matter with you? We’ve got a practice game this afternoon, right? Get in.

M: I know that. But don’t come any closer.

T: Heh.

M: Why are you grinning like that?

T: I watched Oha Asa.

M: Then I shouldn’t have to say anything.

T: Sounds like Cancers have the worst compatibility with Scorpios today.

M: You look like you’re enjoying this.

T: ‘Cause I’m a Scorpio~!

M: I’m perfectly aware of that.

T: What’re you so worried about?

M: Don’t come near me!

T: Don’t be like that!

M: Do you want to lose the game?

T: You know, remember that time Oha Asa said Scorpios would have the worst luck in recent history? We completely crushed the other team that day! So I don’t believe a word of it!

M: Well, good for you.

T: Listen, Shin-chan, you put too much stock in horoscopes!

M: Hmph.

T: You’ll see for yourself if you spend the whole day with me. Horoscopes are nothing but superstition.

M: Don’t come any closer! Don’t come within a one-meter radius of me!

T: How’d you come up with that?

M: Back at Teikou, there was a time when I had the worst compatibility with Geminis. Kise is a Gemini. So I played an entire game without getting close to him, and we won. So there’s a precedent.

T: [sighs] Seriously?

M: You don’t understand. Come here.

T: Huh?

M: Shut up and come here.

T: Eh? Uh, like this? [takes a step]

M: Closer!

T: [grumbling] This is gross, man! [takes another step]

[sound of a truck horn; truck splashes them as it passes by]

T: [sputtering]

M: Do you get it now?

T: And now I’m covered in mud. It’s been a while.

M: That’s the truth of the matter. So don’t come within a one-meter radius of me!

T: All I’ve gotta do is stay away from you, right? Guess you proved your point, though.

M: There’s one more thing: a lucky item. Back then, having a piggy bank with me saved the day.

T: What’s today’s lucky item for Cancers?

M: It’s…a mascot with cute, round eyes!

T: “Cute, round eyes”?

M: [sighs] That description is too vague. I brought this for starters, but… [pulls out the item]

T: Uhh…er, what is it?

M: It’s Mogora, a monster from Gultraman! (1) Out of the hundreds of items at my house, this one has the cutest, roundest eyes. But it didn’t keep that truck from splashing us, so I don’t think it’s the right item.

T: Hm…cute, round eyes, huh? We’ve got something like that at my house.

M: Really?!

T: Yeah. Wanna have a look?

M: Take me there!

[Takao gets on the bike; Midorima sits in the rear car]

T: Hm? Are you sure it’s okay for you to be this close to me?

M: It’s fine as long as I stay at least one meter away from you.

T: Yeah? Alright, let’s go.

M: Go on.

T: Aren’t you going to fall out if you sit that far back?

M: I’m fine. Get a move on.

[Takao starts pedaling; Midorima falls out of the car; Takao brakes the bike]

T: Uh…Shin-chan? You okay?

M: ?! Does it look like I’m okay? [picks himself up] At any rate, until we find that lucky item, my life is in danger! Hurry!

– –

M: Kuroko no Basuke: Special CD. Featuring Midorima Shintarou na no da yo.

– –

[Takao opens and closes the gate at the front of his house]

T: Sorry to keep you waiting. Here it is! [tosses the “lucky item” to Midorima]

M: What is it…?

T: It’s a hugging doll. (2) Apparently they used to be really popular.

M: Oh…? It looks old-fashioned.

T: It’s a keepsake from my grandma. My mom loves that thing.

M: Are you sure it’s alright for me to borrow something so precious…?

T: Yeah, so long as you take good care of it. I’ll make a special exception for you.

M: Hm… It does have cute, round eyes.

T: You put it on your arm. Around here.

M: Like this?

T: Yeah.

M: Is it on right?

T: Yep, it’s perfect.

M: Whoa… It definitely feels like there’s some kind of power emanating from it. Hm. Takao, come here.

T: You sure?

M: Come on!

T: Here I go! [steps forward]

[sound of a clap of thunder and a sudden downpour]

M & T: ?!

M: It must be the wrong item.

T: Sorry…! Guess I screwed up.

M: Don’t worry about it. I knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

T: What’re you gonna do?

M: Let’s try my usual shop. If we go there…we’re bound to find something!

– –

[inside the store]

T: Wow… This place is huge!

M: I come here when I’m having trouble finding the right item. This is where I acquired Kerosuke the frog and the elephant from Gotou Pharmaceuticals. (3)

T: Shin-chan, why don’t you try worrying about something else for a change?

M: —as I was saying, we’re here to look for something with cute, round eyes.

T: Yeah, I know. [sighs] Hm? Oh, what about this?

M: Hmph. Are you blind?

T: Eh? But it’s cute and round, see?

M: Do you even know what that is?

T: It’s Ketty-chan, right? (4)

M: Do you think I would have overlooked a popular character like Ketty-chan? Look!

T: He’s got a Ketty-chan phone strap…!

M: I didn’t overlook it. But it didn’t nullify my bad fortune. Ketty-chan is not my lucky item!

T: Then what about this?

M: Hmph. Seems like you really are blind.

T: What’s wrong with Noraemon? (5)

M: Do you really think I would have overlooked a super-popular character like Noraemon? Look!

T: Wha—?! He’s wearing Noraemon socks…!

M: And I still feel this sense of impending doom. [sighs] Unfortunately, Noraemon isn’t my lucky item, either.

T: Ahh… This is getting ridiculous.

M: What?

T: Eh, ah, nothing!

M: [sighs] There’s got to be something. Something that even I couldn’t anticipate… Fate always manages to take advantage of your blind spots.

T: Eh? That’s the monster you had earlier.

M: Oh, Mogora? —what?! [runs to the display; Takao follows him]

T: What’s up?

M: Mmmmm….! This is…!

T: What is it?

M: This is…a Mogora made by Billmark! (6)

T: Eh? “Billmark”?

M: The one I have is a recent model produced by Pandai. (7) But this is a vintage one that was released during the original broadcast!

T: Ehh.

M: Look! Look at its eyes! They’re definitely cute and round!

T: Ahh.

M: Compare them to the eyes of my Mogora! This one’s eyes are clearly cuter and rounder!

T: Uh, yeah.

M: This must be it. These are the very definition of cute, round eyes!

T: Yeah, maybe.

M: I’m going to buy it.

T: Wait, seriously?!

M: There’s no mistake. This is it.

T: But— Ehh?! This thing costs 35,000 yen! (8)

M: That’s a cheap price to pay for a lucky item.

T: You’ve got that kind of cash on you?!

M: Just who do you think I am? I’ll go buy it.

T: Ehh— Whoa… He’s got no sense of restraint! I mean, I knew he wasn’t normal—in many senses of the phrase—but this is really out there!

M: Alright, we’re leaving.

T: Uh, okay.

– –

[back outside]

M: Look! It stopped raining!

T: Whoa! The sun came out!

M: Thank goodness. Try coming closer.

T: Um, okay… [steps forward]

[another truck drives by and splashes them both]

M & T: ?! [sputtering]

M: It seems I spoke too soon.

T: Mnnn… Shin-chan, I can’t take much more of this…

M: You can’t give up!

T: How can you say that to me?!

M: I have another idea!

T: You just threw away 35,000 freakin’ yen!

M: There’s a game center where I’ve had a lot of luck in the past. That’s where we’ll go!

T: But we’re gonna be late

M: I don’t care! We’re going!

– –

[walking through the game center]

M: Even under the umbrella category of “lucky items”, each item has its own individual traits. For example, if you have two of the same plush dog, the one you bought at the sundry shop in front of the station and the one you bought at the department store have inherently different fortunes. In that sense, this game center is a “power spot” for me. The stuffed animals I’ve won from the crane games here are particularly effective.

T: I guess that makes sense.

M: Look.

[they walk up to one of the crane games]

T: Wow! What are they? Deer?

M: They’re goats. [keeps walking] But I don’t want one of those. I want that. [points]

T: Er, huh? Which one?

M: It’s buried under the goats. That one.

T: Ohh! That one. …wait, what is it? Some old guy?

M: It’s the old man who owns the goats. His name is Peter. (9)

T: How do you even know this stuff?

M: He’s especially popular with high school girls.

T: You’ve gotta be kidding me.

M: Those are the cutest, roundest eyes we’ve seen so far. I have to get that one, no matter what it takes. I need your help!

T: Huh? You want me to do it?! I’ve never even played a crane game before.

M: I’m going to do it. I just need you to give me directions. Your hawk eye must have some practical applications.

T: What kind of reasoning is that?

M: Don’t be modest.

T: I’m not!

M: It’ll be fine. I know you can do it!

T: Why are you trying to encourage me?!

M: Our fate is on the line here! Come on! [puts coins into the crane game; cue epic music]

T: [sighs] Guess I don’t have much of a choice. Uh, alright. First, grab that goat over there.

M: [presses the crane button] Like this?

T: Yep, that’s the one. Then, get that goat.

M: [presses the button] Like this?

T: You’re pretty good at this. Now, grab this goat.

M: [presses the button] Like this?

T: Whoa, you’ve already got three of ‘em! Alright. Now get that one in the middle.

M: [presses the button] Like this?

T: Yeah! Okay, now this one.

M: [presses the button] Like this?

T: Shin-chan, you’re amazing! Okay, now the one in the back!

M: [presses the button] Hm. Like this?

T: Yep, just like that. Now the one on the side!

M: [presses the button] Like this?

T: Now the one in the middle!

M: [presses the button] Like this?

T: Now the one in the front!

M: Like this?!

T: Next is that one…

M: Like this?

[continues]

M: Like this?! [echoes]

[music ends]

M: Time’s up.

[Takao buys a drink from a vending machine]

M: Even though we got more than fifty goats…we don’t have a single old man! What’s the meaning of this?

[Takao returns from buying his drink]

T: It’s downright weird, that’s what! The machine’s gotta be rigged or something.

M: I should file a complaint.

T: But, you know… [looks in the bag of goats] These goats have pretty cute, round eyes, too, don’t ya think?

M: They’ve got nothing on the eyes of the old man.

T: Sure they do! They won’t lose to the old guy!

M: You’re too naïve!

T: Quantity over quality this time, ‘kay?

M: I can’t be content with that!

T: C’mon, man…just compromise and settle for a goat!

M: The word “compromise” is not in my dictionary! Give me those! [snatches the bag of goats]

T: [grumbles] What’re you gonna do?

M: I’m going to go ask if they’ll let me exchange these goats for an old man! [stomps away]

T: [sighs] Not that it’ll work, am I right? And there’s no point in filing a complaint, either. Is he gonna be alright? … Oh, here he comes.

[Midorima returns]

T: How’d it go?

M: Negotiations complete. [holds up the “old man”; sparkly sound of success!]

T: Ehhh?! Whoaaa! How’d you get them to exchange it?

[cue melancholic music]

M: I told them that my younger sister really wants one of these, but she’s leaving to study abroad in America, and we won’t be able to see each other for several years. So before she leaves, I want to give her one as a present, no matter what.

T: Whoa. Shin-chan, you’re not afraid to play dirty, are you?

M: Necessity knows no law! Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty for the sake of justice.

T: Like justice has anything to do with it.

M: Anyway, I got the old man. Let’s go.

[music cuts off abruptly]

T: [sighs] Yeah.

– –

[back outside]

M: We’re going to test it.

T: [sighs] Sure. Here goes.

M: Come on!

T: One, two…three! [hops forward]

M: [gasps] Success!

T: Like, whoa…! I was seriously getting sick and tired of this nonsense, but I have to admit, now I’m kinda impressed…!

M: Takao, you made it all possible! You have my thanks!

T: Shin-chan—!

[Midorima is bombarded by a pile of boxes]

M: Ack—!

T: Ah, Shin-chan?! … Shin-chan, are you okay?

M: Where the heck did these boxes come from?!

T: Ah! [laughing] They’re the cardboard boxes the goats came in.

M: [seething] I’ve got enough goats already!

– –

[Takao walking the bike]

M: Is this the end of the line?

T: Let’s give up and head to the meeting place. We’re out of time, anyway.

M: [muttering] Cute, round eyes…cute, round eyes… There’s got to be something…something I’ve overlooked…!

T: I always admire your tenacity and focus, but there are times now and then when I think you’re nothing but an idiot.

M: What?

T: Oh, no, it’s nothing~! My sincerest apologies.

M: Cute, round eyes…cute, round…

[Kuroko appears out of nowhere]

Kuroko: Midorima-kun.

M: Kuroko?! When did you—?

K: Hello. What are you doing?

T: We’re headed to a practice game.

K: Really? I’ll see you later, then.

M: Stop right there!

K: Midorima-kun?

M: Hmm…! Cute, round eyes!

[sparkly sound effect]

K: Eh?

[Midorima grabs Kuroko and pulls him into the rear car]

M: You’re coming with us!

K: Eh?

T: Eh? Shin-chan, you can’t be serious—!

M: It’s fine. Just get in.

K: But—

M: Get a move on.

T: —the hell?!

M: Just go already!

[Kuroko gets into the rear car]

K: What’s going on?

T: As if I have a choice! [starts pedaling, with a great deal of effort] You two are heavy, you know that?!

– –

[final whistle of the basketball game; crowd cheering]

M: We…won…

T: [panting] Maybe it was because of Kuroko?

M: There’s no question about that.

[Midorima and Takao walk to where Kuroko is seated]

M: Kuroko, you have my gratitude.

K: I still don’t really understand the situation, but I thought it was a good game. I feel lucky for being able to watch Shuutoku play up close.

T: In that case, thanks for taking everything in stride. I think he was about to snap earlier.

M: We were saved by your cute, round eyes. Thank you.

T: I can’t believe it! Shin-chan’s honestly thanking somebody!

K: For the first time ever, as far as I know. It’s a little creepy.

M: [bashful] You two are really rude. I’m only human. I’m allowed to feel grateful sometimes.

T: Hehe. Alright, let’s grab something to eat and head home! Wanna come with us, Kuroko?

M: It’s my treat.

K: Well… Okay, if you insist—

[Midorima is hit in the head hard by a basketball]

M: Guh—!

K: Midorima-kun…are you alright?

M: [pained noises]

T: Shi…Shin-chan? That was a direct hit to your head…

K: It looks like one of the players over there lost control of the ball. Look, he’s apologizing.

M: Stay away from me, Takao.

T: Eh?

M: Don’t come near me! Kuroko, sorry, but something urgent has come up. I’ll have to take my leave.

K: Okay…?

T: But the game’s already over! It shouldn’t matter anymore!

M: Far from it! Listen up. You are not to come near me until the day is officially over! You understand me? I’m not kidding!

T: Shin-chan—

M: Not a word! [stalks away]

T: Uh. Eh. Should we go grab something to eat?

K: Eh?

T: I’ll explain what happened today.

K: Really…? Alright, just for a little while, then.

T: ‘Kay.

K: I’m not very good at making conversation, though.

T: Don’t worry about it. Say, has Shin-chan always been like that?

K: Yes. We’ve never gotten along well, but it feels like he’s become a little more…violent.

T: Ah. That so. Eh, let’s get outta here.

K: Okay.

T: [long sigh]

– –

Translation Notes:

(1) A parody of Ultraman

(2) A “hugging” doll that has arms for fastening around an object

(3) The Kowa Company has a frog mascot named “Kero-chan” (Kerosuke is the frog Midorima is carrying when he makes his first appearance in the manga/anime); the Sato Pharmaceutical Company has an elephant mascot named “Sato-chan”

(4) A parody of Hello Kitty, I believe

(5) A parody of Doraemon

(6) A parody of Bullmark, a Japanese toy company

(7) A parody of Bandai

(8) About US $424. Midorima is rollin’ in the dough, apparently.

(9) Probably a parody of Peter the goatherd from Heidi

– – –

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35 thoughts on “[translation] “Kuroko no Basuke” DVD Vol. 4 Audio Drama Feat. Midorima Shintarou

  1. Kagami says:

    It’s great, thank you for make this translation, ummm….. excuse me, I wanted to ask if do not bother you, Would you traslate the audio drama DVD 2 of Kuroko? Really I like this audio dramas of Kuroko, make me laugh, Thanks 🙂

    Like

  2. Kagami says:

    Really? thank you so much for accepting my request. Umm.. another question, I am learning english and saw that the word “Cute” means pretty or clever, when midorima says “cute and round eyes” ¿means “pretty and round eyes” or “clever and round eyes”? sorry if my question is strange.

    Like

    • grimmfeather says:

      It’s not strange at all. ^^ Part of the reason I translate is to practice my Japanese.

      In English, “cute” means “adorable/pretty/attractive” when it’s used to describe the appearance of something (as in, “Look at that cute dog.”). When “cute” is used to describe the way someone is acting (as in, “Don’t get cute with me.”), it has a slightly negative connotation and means “clever or cheeky”.

      Midorima is looking for an item that has “tsubura na hitomi”, or “cute, round eyes”, in the sense that the eyes are adorable or pretty. In Japanese, the kanji used in “tsubura” is the same as the one used to write the word “round”.

      Like

  3. notshunnaorealted says:

    M: Are you sure it’s alright for me to borrow something so precious…?

    T: Yeah, so long as you take good care of it. I’ll make a special exception for you.

    no, not gay at all xD
    But it’s awesome how desperate Midorima was to find lucky item and they both didn’t see that he was doing this so Takao can get closer than meter radius from him >.<

    And poor Kuroko, to be snatched like that from basically nowhere.

    Like

    • grimmfeather says:

      Nope, not at all. 😄 That was so sweet.

      Yeah, Midorima was perfectly content to stay one meter away from Kise at all times during that Teikou match, but it’s a completely different story with Takao. 😀

      Like

  4. Mochi says:

    Thank you sooooooooooooooooooo much :((( im so happy :(( ❤ ❤ ❤

    i couldnt stop laughing =))))) damn it why so cute ?? :(((((((((

    and do you plan to translate the freetalk track ? :"D

    Like

  5. Fish says:

    Aahhh oh my gosh, this is too funny x’D
    Hey, would you mind if I made a video with your translation?? As in, the drama cd playing with your translation as subtitles or something….if that makes sense ahaha
    No worries if you don’t want me to though!
    And thanks for taking the time to translate it 😀

    Like

  6. Leona says:

    Thank you so much for this! You really made my day with this MidoTaka translation 🙂 I’m saying MidoTaka, because they are so much canon, especially in this one 🙂 By the way, do you know a place online to listen to this drama? It would be even more amazing to listen to it while reading this.

    Like

  7. asdfgay says:

    Let’s all stop and read this because if you LOVE MIDOTAKA YOU GOTTA READ THIS. This is practically a date for them omfg. Canon: Midorima’s apparently rich. He’s more violent than before.

    SO HETEROSEXUAL. (WHO THE HELL AM I KIDDING?)

    Like

  8. Hassohappa says:

    All three of my favorite Kurobasu characters starring in the same drama cd ahh!!! I was in heaven reading your translation, thank you!!

    Like

  9. iyliaanis says:

    LAUGHED WAY TOO MUCH 😄

    thank you for translating it ;_; you’re really awesome to take time to do this for KnB fans everywhere.

    I hope vol.9’s free talk gets translated one day…judging from how the seiyuus were laughing so much I’m guessing it’s funny 😄

    Like

  10. iyliaanis says:

    HAHAHA I LAUGHED TOO MUCH >_<

    Thank you for taking time to translate this for KnB fans everywhere ;_; You are too awesome

    I hope Vol.9's free talk gets translated one day. Judging by how all the seiyuus were laughing, I'm guessing it's quite funny 😄

    Like

  11. Gaby says:

    Thanks so much for all of your work, this audio drama was hilarious but cute at the same time. I like the dynamics between Takao and Midorima, and Kuroko was a great addition here. I’m just smiling at how Takao and Kuroko bonded at the end.
    Thanks again for sharing this with us, I mean, this takes you time and it’s cool and kind that you do it 😀

    Like

    • grimmfeather says:

      Thanks for your comment! I appreciate that, and I’m so glad you enjoyed the translation. 😀

      Yeah, I love that this drama CD shows another side of Midorima and Takao’s relationship. Kuroko just takes everything in stride. XDD

      Like

  12. Diana says:

    Thanks for all the useful translations ! Do you know where I could find the cast comments translations please ? They always sound to fun.

    Like

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