[Track 2: Let’s Walk Around the Amusement Park]
Kise [laughing]: Now that Kagamicchi’s done eating, why don’t we go check out one of the rides?
Kuroko: Let’s do that.
Kagami: Yeah, let’s…not! Oi, Kise, what the hell are you doin’ here?!
Kise: I already told you! I happened to have a photoshoot near here, and when I was on my way home, I came across Kagamicchi wolfing down a hamburger.
Kuroko: I never thought I’d run into you in a place like this.
Kise: It’s gotta be fate, I guess. So…let’s walk around the amusement park together!
Kagami: Together?! Why?!
Kuroko: Kagami-kun, I think it’s good to do something like this every once in a while. Besides, it’s kind of depressing to imagine Kise-kun wandering around the park by himself.
Kise: Oh, no worries. Even when I come alone, usually a girl asks if she can hang out with me.
Kagami: Oi, this guy really pisses me off…
Kuroko: Yeah, the feeling is mutual.
Kise: What? You, too, Kurokocchi?
Kagami: Shit… He pisses me off, but the alternative is even worse! Fine. Let’s do this, damn it.
Kise: Um, it’s kinda scary when you glare at me like that…
Kuroko: Well, where should we go first?
Kagami: I wanna hold off on the really intense rides, since I just ate.
Kuroko: Something that’s not too intense…
Kise: Alright, what about over there?
Kise: Taa-daa! It’s the game corner! Kurokocchi, I remember you being really good at crane games.
Kagami: Really, Kuroko?
Kuroko: Yes, I’m quite fond of them. Look, I already won something.
Kagami: When did you—?!
Kise: Wow, fast as ever!
Kuroko: Is that so?
Kagami: That’s impressive. I’ve never been able to win anything.
Kuroko: It’s pretty simple if you know the trick.
Kagami: Really? Tell me.
Kuroko: Alright. It’ll be easier to show you while you’re actually doing it, so why don’t you try to get that stuffed tiger?
Kagami: Sweet! …so, what now?
Kuroko: Please look carefully at the tiger. If you can get the center of the crane arm right over the spot above the tiger’s nose, that should be perfect.
Kagami: Above its nose… Okay, right here!
Kise: You got it right above its nose!
Kuroko: The crane caught hold of it.
Kagami: Uwaaa, I got it!
Kise: That’s great, Kagamicchi!
Kagami: Wow! I mean, like, wow, I really did it!
Midorima: Oi, what’s all the fuss about?
Kagami: Look at this! I just— Huh? Midorima?!
Kise: Wow, no joke! Midorimacchi, long time no see!
Midorima: Hn. I came over to figure out who was making so much noise. I see it was you, Kagami.
Kagami: Shut up. It’s none of your business.
Kuroko: But, Midorima-kun, what are you doing here?
Midorima: That should be obvious. I’m searching for today’s lucky item.
Kise: What is it today?
Midorima: A tiger with taiyaki in its mouth. (1)
Kuroko: A tiger eating taiyaki…?
Midorima: That’s right. I had already prepared a cat eating taiyaki, but as for a tiger… I haven’t been able to find a one.
Kise: You already had a cat? That alone is pretty impressive.
Kagami: A tiger eating taiyaki? Huh? I think I saw one of those somewhere…
Midorima: What?! Really, Kagami?
Kagami: Yeah. But where?
Kuroko: Isn’t that what you’re holding right now?
Kagami: Hm? Woah!
Midorima: A-ah, that’s—! That stuffed animal you’re holding—!
Kise: Yep, it’s a tiger eating taiyaki…
Midorima: Kagami, where did you get that?!
Kuroko: From this crane game.
Midorima: Ah! Alright, then I need to hurry and— Ah, there aren’t any!
Kise: Of course there are.
Midorima: Are you blind?! Look at what the tigers have in their mouths!
Kise: What? Hm…that one has ikayaki…this one has yakitori…and that one has edamame…? (2)
Kuroko: Looks like there aren’t any others with taiyaki.
Kagami: Wait, aren’t all of these snacks you’d eat with sake? What’s up with these tigers?
Midorima: This is the “Heavy Drinker Tiger-san” series. (3) Among them, very few of the taiyaki version were ever produced. I came here after acquiring the information that this is the last place one could be obtained.
Kuroko: And Kagami-kun won the last one of such a rare item.
Kagami: Just so you know, I’m not gonna give it to you. This tiger is the first thing I’ve ever won from a crane game. I’ve gotta keep it to commemorate this day.
Kuroko: But that puts Midorima-kun in a tight spot, too…
Midorima: Hah! I have no intention of relying on Kagami for help. I’ll find one somewhere else.
Kise: Wait up, Midorimacchi! This is the last store in the area that carries them, right? Why don’t you give up on finding one for now and come enjoy the amusement park with us?
Midorima: I live my life while doing everything in my power to succeed.
Kise: Ehh? Even though we happened to run into each other? That’s such a bummer. Ah, I’ve got it! How about this? Let’s have a competition with this stuffed tiger as the prize!
Kagami: Hey! Where’d you get that idea?!
Kise: You were just gonna hang around the park anyway, so what’s the difference? Kagamicchi and Kurokocchi will be one team; Midorimacchi and I will be the other. We’ll compete in stuff around the amusement park! And the winning team receives this tiger eating taiyaki!
Kagami: Who made you the boss?!
Kuroko: Count me in.
Kuroko: Kagami-kun, this might be a great chance for us.
Kagami: Huh?! To do what?
Kuroko: If we spend time with Kise-kun and Midorima-kun, I’ll be able to observe them more. If I do that, I think my misdirection will improve as a result.
Kagami: Huh? Really?
Kagami: You’re really sure about that…?
Kagami: Aaah, shit! I get it, damn it! I’ll do it!
Kise: Alright, so it’s settled! Can we count you in, Midorimacchi?
Midorima: Why not. If we’re going to compete, then I’ll crush you with all my strength.
Kagami: Hah! That’s my line!
Kuroko: Kagami-kun, it doesn’t take much to rile up your competitive streak.
Kise: I wonder what our first contest should be…?
[Riko, Hyuuga, and Izuki enter]
Riko: In that case, I’ve got a great idea!
Hyuuga: It’s not just the coach.
Kuroko: Hyuuga-senpai and Izuki-senpai…?
Izuki: Yo! We thought we heard some familiar voices as we were walking by.
Riko: We heard the whole story! You guys came up with a really interesting idea!
Kise: You got it. If we’re gonna mess around anyway, we might as well enjoy it to the max!
Midorima: I haven’t the least intention to “mess around”.
Kagami: What a coincidence. Me neither.
Hyuuga: They’re incredibly fired up about a battle over a stuffed animal, aren’t they?
Riko: Mhmm! It’s only right that they’re this passionate about everything they do! Alright, both teams, listen up! We’ll provide your first contest!
Kise: Ah, that’s great!
Kuroko: Please do.
Kagami: So, what’s it gonna be?
Riko: Hmhmhm! The first contest will be…a pun battle!
Kise: A pun…
Riko: Yep! Our team’s point guard, Izuki-kun, is a huge pun enthusiast! You’ll present your puns to him, and the person who comes up with the most wonderful pun will be the winner!
Kise: That doesn’t really have anything to do with the amusement park, does it…?
Riko: Nope, it doesn’t! But this seemed like it would be the most entertaining!
Kise: That so…
Izuki: Please teach me some amusing puns!
Hyuuga: Whoever thinks of one first can start. And only one pun per person.
Kagami: Alright! I’ll be first at bat.
Kuroko: Are you sure, Kagami-kun?
Kagami: Yeah! You’ve gotta seize the initiative in order to win. Here I go, Izuki-senpai!
Izuki: Okay, I’m ready!
Kagami: “Monkey does monkey see, monkey do!” (4)
Hyuuga: Um, Kagami, how was that a pun?
Kagami: Eh? Isn’t it obvious? There’s a monkey, then there’s the “monkey” from “monkey see, monkey do”.
Izuki: That’s it?
Riko: Kagami-kun, do you actually know what a pun is?
Kagami: ‘Course I do! You’ve just gotta string together words that sound alike, right?
Riko: Um, well, yeah, but… Okay, Izuki-kun! What’s the verdict?
Izuki: Zero points.
Kagami: Ehhh?! Why?!
Izuki: Uh, sorry, but it seems like it’d be really difficult to explain it in a way that you’d understand, so I’ll pass.
Kise: This is working to our advantage, Midorimacchi!
Midorima: Yeah, I like the way this is going. Kise! Deal the finishing blow!
Kise: Roger that! Okay~! I’ll go next!
Riko: Alright, Kise-kun!
Kise: Here I go…! “That soda looks so da-licious!” (5)
Izuki: Yep, that’s fantastic!
Riko: Eh?! That’s the level you’re looking for?
Hyuuga: Izuki, shouldn’t you be a little stricter with your judging?
Kise: Hey, wait a sec! Don’t argue with the ref’s call!
Izuki: He’s right, Hyuuga. Even at that level, Kise’s in first place for now.
Midorima: You did well, Kise!
Kagami: Shit! How was his any different from mine?
Kuroko: They were pretty different, if you ask me.
Kagami: Damn… Kuroko, I’m counting on you! You’ve gotta do something!
Kuroko: I’ll do the best I can. Um, I’ve got one.
Riko: Okay, Kuroko-kun! Go ahead.
Kuroko: Here I go. “When the cliquey classmates captured cuckoos, they clucked like cuckoos and climbed the cliff at a quick clip.” (6)
[cue cuckoo SFX]
Riko: Er, say it again!
Kuroko: Okay. “When the cliquey classmates captured cuckoos, they clucked like cuckoos and climbed the cliff at a quick clip.”
Hyuuga: …wow! But imagining that scene is way too surreal.
Riko: Why did they have to act like cuckoos?
Kuroko: I think they were probably drawn in by the allure of the cuckoos.
Hyuuga: They’re incredible…those cuckoos.
Kagami: But I don’t get it at all! Why d’ya have to keep saying “cuckoo” over and over?
Kuroko: That’s just how the pun goes. Izuki-senpai, what’s your verdict?
Izuki: You’re in first place now, no doubt about it.
Kise: That’s so like Kurokocchi! He’s a tough opponent.
Midorima: Kuroko has always excelled in Japanese class, after all.
Izuki: I’d probably prefer something a little simpler, though.
Riko: Alright then, Midorima-kun’s the last one.
Kise: Midorimacchi, do your best!
Midorima: Naturally. I’ll do everything in my power.
Riko: Okay, Midorima-kun! Go ahead!
Midorima: Get ready.
[Midorima removes his glasses]
Kise: Midorimacchi…took off his glasses?
Kuroko: No way…
Midorima: “Seeing me without my glasses on is quite the spectacle.” (7)
[Hyuuga and Riko start giggling]
Riko [giggling]: That was…pretty sly, wasn’t it…?
Hyuuga [giggling]: He really…dealt the finishing blow, huh? And I can’t believe Midorima just told a joke…!
Izuki: Magnificent! It’s simple and easy to understand! That pun deserves a gold star, without a doubt! Midorima, you’re the winner.
Midorima: Hn. Looks like I’ve won this round.
Kagami: Shit! I’m not gonna lose the next one, got it?!
Kise: Ahaha! Alright then, let’s go look for our next contest!
Kuroko: I agree. In that case, senpai, we’ll take our leave.
Izuki: Yeah, do your best!
[Kuroko, Kagami, Kise, and Midorima leave]
Hyuuga: So, what’re we gonna do?
Riko: Good question. I’d rather not spend a lot of money, so why don’t we have a cup of tea somewhere and discuss the plans for our next practice… Ah!
Izuki: What’s wrong, Coach?
Riko: L-look over there! At that game corner!
Hyuuga: Hmm? Isn’t that just a regular target practice game?
Riko: No, not that! Look at the prizes!
Hyuuga: What, the prizes? Gah—! What’s that?!
Izuki: The prizes are all protein—!
Riko: And even better, if you shoot down the special prize, they give you a free bonus!
Hyuuga: Why would they give you protein as a bonus?!
Izuki: Just how much do they love protein—wait, did they overstock it?
Riko: We’ve got no choice.
Hyuuga: C-Coach, your eyes are fixated on it…
Riko: We’re going to win all of those prizes and take them home with us.
Izuki: All of them?! Don’t you know how much that would cost—?! Coach, didn’t you say you’d rather not spend a lot of money?
Riko: That’s right. But if we hit the target with one shot, then it’s actually a great deal! And with Izuki-kun’s eagle eye and Hyuuga-kun’s shooting ability, we can do it, no sweat!
Hyuuga: I-I wonder about that…
Izuki: That’s not really what our abilities are meant for, though…
Riko: We’ll compensate for what we lack with fighting spirit! Alright, get pumped!
Hyuuga & Izuki: Y-yeah…!
(1) taiyaki = fish-shaped cake filled with azuki bean paste. They’re delicious.
(2) ikayaki = grilled squid; yakitori = grilled chicken; edamame = green soybeans
(3) 「のんべえ」= a heavy drinker
(4) 「猿と猿真似」= lit., “Monkey and monkey see, monkey do.”
(5) 「ソーダは、美味いそうだ！」= lit., “The soda looks delicious!”
(6) 「各校の生徒がカッコウを飼ったら、みんなカッコウの格好をして坂道を滑降した」= lit., “When the students from each school all kept cuckoos, they all acted like cuckoos and skied down the slope.” The line I substituted is more of a tongue twister than a pun. Sorry, Kuroko! English is sorely lacking in the cuckoo pun department.
(7) 「眼鏡をとったら目がねえ」= lit., “If I take off my glasses, I have no eyes.”
– – –
Click a page number below to continue