「ハルの看病奮闘記」- “Haru’s Chronicle of Do-or-Die First Aid”
“Tsuritama” Drama CD, Track 5/5 (4:08)
Natsuki: “You’re still a hundred years too early to be making a pass at Sakura!”
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[The thrilling conclusion! Numbers in parentheses correspond to translation notes at the bottom of the page.]
[sounds of cooking]
Yuki [monologue]: I’m in a pickle. I’ve been in many such situations since I came to Enoshima, but this takes the cake.
Y: Alright. Ha-Haru! Breakfast is ready!
Haru: Hello, Yuki! I have finished watering the flowers in the garden.
Y: Uh, yeah. Thanks.
H: You’re most welcome. Same to you; thank you for making my morning meal.
Y: N-no problem…
H: I’m in a pickle. I have no idea what to do! Haru’s acting really weird!
[Yuki and Haru walk in to town]
Natsuki: Hey, Haru, Yuki.
Y: Oh, Natsuki!
H: Good morning! What a beautiful morning!
N: Haru…? Why are you talking like that?
H: It must be your imagination. I’m perfectly fine.
N: No, you’re definitely acting weird.
H: No, nothing of the sort! What wonderful weather we’re having! There’s not a cloud in sight, and I feel as if I could melt right into that endless blue sky.
N: “Melt into the…endless blue sky”…? [aside to Yuki] Oi, Yuki, what happened to him?
Y: I haven’t the faintest idea! He’s been acting this way all morning…
N: Did he eat something strange?
Y: Eh? Ah… Last night for dinner, I had rice gruel, and Haru ate rice and salmon, like usual…
H: What might you two be talking about?
Y: Ehh?! N-nothing!
N: Y-yeah, it’s nothing!
H: Really? Ah, Yuki, since you only just recently recovered from your cold, I suggest that you avoid too much exposure to the sea breeze.
Y: Ah… Yeah, you’re right.
H: Moreover, Natsuki-kun—
H: I would like to invite Sakura-san on a date today. Is that quite alright?
N: Are you crazy?!
H: Whatever do you mean? Before I start courting her, I need to receive permission from her honored elder brother. (1)
Y: “Courting”?! “Honored elder brother”?! Haru, what the heck’s wrong with you?
H: What do you mean? This is the way I always am! Ahahaha! Heehee!
N: Oi, what’s going on?!
[Koko appears and walks toward them]
Koko: Hey there! Whatcha doin’?
H: Koko! Haru’s acting really weird!
K: Nii-chan is…?
H: You are all being extremely rude. I’m sparkling brilliantly, like I always do!
K: Ahaha! That’s an easy fix!
Y: How so…?
K: Nii-chan, c’mere for a sec.
H: If I must. Even if you are my younger sister, it’s unthinkable to deny a request from a lady. [walks to Koko] Is this where you’d like me?
K: Perfect, perfect! [fires up a punch] Take thaaaat!
N: Hey, hold on— What the heck do you think you’re doing, punching your brother like that?!
K: Silly, how else d’ya intend to fix him? Geez, he went an’ caught one of those Earth viruses. What’s the world coming to?
Y: A virus?
K: ‘S what you earthlings call a “cold”.
N: You mean he…caught Yuki’s cold?
Y: No way…!
H: Huh? How did I get here? Eh? Koko? Yuki? Natsuki?
Y: Ha-Haru…? Are you back to normal?
H: What do you mean, “back to normal”?
N: You sure like to cause trouble for other people.
H: Eh? What’s up? What happened?
N: Well, basically…
N&Y: Don’t ever catch a cold again!
N: You’re still a hundred years too early to be making a pass at Sakura!
Y: Honestly…! You just took a few years off my life!
[Yuki and Natsuki start to walk away while ignoring Haru]
H: Eh? What does that mean?
N: Man, I can’t believe him…
H: Ne, ne, Yuki~! [continues in the background]
Y: Yeah, me neither!
N: Yeah. C’mon, let’s go fishing.
Y: Sure, let’s go.
H: What? What’s up? You’re going fishing? I’m going, too!
[End of Track 5]
[End of CD]
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(1) 「お兄様」= “onii-sama” = an extremely formal address for an elder brother
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I had an absolute blast translating this CD. ♥ The seiyuu did an outstanding job, and their comedic timing was spot on. I hope there’s another CD in the works!