Here’s my translation of Izaya and Shizuo’s first three tracks apiece from this CD, for a total of six tracks.
“That’s quite a loaded statement, writer-san…”
“Aaaaah? But I have absolutely nothing to tell you about Shizu-chan… You see, first of all, I can’t stand Shizu-chan. I love humans, though. Even if you ask me why I hate him, that’s… He can’t follow logic. He’s like a protozoan, basically. Even so, he can be pretty sharp sometimes, which causes trouble for me. Really, won’t he just hurry up and die…?”
“First off, call him, ‘louse’. Then we’ll talk.
And I don’t know enough about him that I could tell you anything—nor do I have any desire to know… Fuck, don’t even mention him! Just thinking about him pisses me off. Listen up. I HATE him.”
“‘Something I like about him’…? I’ve been going on and on about how much I hate him, and you’re still going to ask that?
About him? About him, huh…
Every once in a while—and I mean every once in a blue moon—he lets me have my fun, I guess. Aah, it’s not like Shizu-chan’s actually doing it on purpose. It’s just fun to mess with him. Well, I’m risking my life to do it, though.
Shizu-chan may not love me, but— Rather, being loved by him would be such a pain, so I politely refuse, but if it would give that protozoic Shizu-chan grief, then I want him to love me more.”
“‘Something I like about him’? You bastard, have you not been listening to a word I’ve said? Do you need your hearing checked?! If there were even a one percent chance I could trust that louse, it would have never turned out this way!
Huh? About him? You keep asking and asking—shut up already! Are you blind, too?!
That guy, he’s always alone; he has no friends or whatever. He gets his kicks by screwing with other people—and that’s what pisses me off. I can’t understand what goes through his head. Well, not that I want to, mind you.”
“‘Since when have you been on bad terms with one another?’ Well, it’s not like we intended to have a falling out. But, when you say, ‘on bad terms’, it implies there was a time beforehand when we were ‘on good terms’, doesn’t it?
We never did things like study together or discuss manga, nor did we ever battle it out at the arcade. Cutting and shoving and screwing with each other and dominating—
Huh? It seems like we get along? That’s quite a loaded statement, writer-san. You’d be better off not bringing that up when you’re with Shizu-chan. Although since you’re a writer, I guess you can’t help asking…
Now that I think about it, you could probably say that Shizu-chan is like a toy I discovered lying in a heap. A toy I’m torn between breaking and playing with just a little bit longer.”
“Since when have we been on bad terms? Rather, do you honestly think there was a time when we got along? He was slashing at me with a knife the moment we first met—and there’s no way in hell I have room in my heart to just put on a smile and call a guy like that my ‘friend’.
That said, no matter what I do, even though I’m doing all I can to live peacefully, nothing changes. He’s the kind of guy who’ll get me tangled up in the exact opposite of a peaceful situation and then smirk down at me from somewhere up high.
Oh, I forgot to mention it, but I hate violence. That’s something I refuse to compromise on. Punching and kicking and chasing and throwing— I already told you I hate violence, DIDN’T I?! He makes me use the violence I hate so much… I hate that bastard flea enough for him to die!!”